Voices. I can hear them. Why can`t I see? I try to open my eyes but my lids just seem too heavy. My mouth is dry, my throat too. My whole body hurts, feels like burning. What is going on?
“Hello?....”- I hear myself whisper. Well, is this croaky voice really mine?- I really need water.
“Hello?...”- I whisper a little bit louder but I am sure the voices still do not hear me.
“Water…” I try again, now loud and clear. The voices seem to hear me.
“Hello? Are you awake? Can you open your eyes?” I do not know the voice that talks to me. Where am I? A burning smell makes its way up into my nose. I know this smell. Is this maybe an antiseptic? Am I in a hospital?
Someone touches my hand, presses it and asks again “Hello? Can you hear me? Please open your eyes?” A glint, another glint, my eyes are just too heavy.
“Try again, you can, it is just unfamiliar.” I hear the voice nearly begging. A prickling in my arms and legs, a glint and another glint and then light. Harsh, blinding light, but I can see. I can see the face that belongs to the voice. A small, skinny woman that is smiling at me although she seems concerned at the same time. “Don`t be afraid you are in the hospital I will help you.”
I am still not in control of my eyes, right, left, up and down and then this blinding light. The woman presses a button. “I am Liz your nurse, I am going to help you. Don`t be afraid. I will just reduce the light a bit so that it won`t blind you.”
It is getting a bit darker which makes it easier to see and hold my eyes open. I can see the woman now clearly. She is young, maybe my age, she is wearing this green nurse clothes.
“Water?...”- my voice breaks. “Please?...”
“I will bring you a glas of water in a minute you just need to be a bit more awake. We do not want you to choke on water.” Liz smiles at me and strokes my arm. It prickles again. It is getting stronger and stronger the longer I am awake.
“Why a…I here?”- my voice breaks again, but before I can try again Liz answers my question.
“You had an accident. Don`t be afraid, you will recover completely.”
Heavy steps in the hallway. A man`s voice. Someone presses the doorhandle down and harsh light blinds me.
The man is standing beside my bed. He is probably older than I am but I am not good at guessing. But one thing is for sure if he completed his medicine studies and the years as a resident he either must be a genius or he is a couple of years older than I am. Morrison says his name tag.
“Hello. I have heared that you are awake. I am your doctor. Can you tell me your name?”
“Emma.”- I hear myself answer.
“Good, Emma. Good. I am Doctor Morrison.” He is turning to to Liz. “How long is she already awake?”
“I can`t tell exactly but about half an hour again, she asked for water.” I am listening to their conversation, interested. Doctor Morrison is looking at the screen beside my bed, then he turns to me.
“Emma, you have been in a pretty bad car crash, but you will recover completely. In a couple of weeks you will be walking out of here. You will return to your life. Liz here will be on your side every day, but today you should rest a bit more. We will do the necessary tests tomorrow. Oh and if you have any questions you can ask Liz. She will also bring you some water soon and if you want a yoghurt.”
“Thank you”- was everything I could say before Doctor Morrison left the room.
Liz came back to my bed with a glass of water. She put a straw in it.
“Here you have a bit of water. Please drink carefully.” She was holding the glass for me so that I could drink.
“Thank you”- my voice was clearer now, nearly normal. I asked Liz for more water and she immediately went to get me another glass of water.
Why was only Liz here? Shouldn`t my family be here? If not Dad than at least mom. Liz came back with another glass of water and I immediately drank it up.
After I was done I took all my strength and courage and I think subconsciously I already knew the answer to my question.
“Liz?- Why are you here and not my family?- Why are you sitting beside my bed, holding my hand, taking my fears away instead of my Mom? Where is my family? Did nobody inform them?...”
Liz interrupts me. “You shouldn`t get exasperated, Emma. I am here because you still need intensive care, that is all.”
“Please don`t lie to me Liz. Why are you here and not somebody from my family?”
“Emma you must promise me to stay calm. Promise me that?!”
“I promise you to stay calm, I just need to know where my family is.”
“Emma….your parents were with you in the car….they…they.” Liz needed to start over and over again until she finally told me “Emma, I am sorry to tell you that your parents died in the accident.”
Tears were running down my cheeks, my stomach and everything was just cramping up. “I….I…I…”
“It is fine Emma, it is going to be fine.” Liz strokes over my head and hugs me, holds me and calms me down until I fall asleep.
From tomorrow on everything will become different.