Monday, October 19, 2015

Something special for you! Chapter 10

I was lying in bed. I couldn`t sleep again. I was turning from left to right, right to left. I stood up, walked a bit up and down. Sat down in front of the window, looked at the ocean. Went to bed again and called Balu to lay down with me.


Scott has helped me. He was nice to me although he didn`t know me. And I wasn`t really making a step towards him. On the contrary, I made five steps backwards.

I can`t tell what it is. On the one hand it was nice to have him around, but on the other hand I couldn`t have him near me.

How should I behave towards him? Maybe I should avoid him for a little while? Now that was a decision. I would avoid him. I stroke Balus head and fell asleep after a while.

I woke up very early. It was still dark when I went down to the beach with Balu. I waited in front of the beach kiosk until it opened. I ordered food for the day and took a salad for tonight with me. I will just put the salad in the fridge. I would just avoid the problem. The problem of meeting Scott. Of being in need of saying something. I didn`t stay at the beach today. I would just sit down in my garden with Balu. From there I could still see the ocean and the Surfers, but I wouldn`t run into them. 
Into him.

I still wonder why he helped me. I can`t understand it. Over the next days I withdraw myself back into myself. I went our early in the morning and late in the evening. I barely saw any other people, except of the woman at the kiosk. I didn`t respond to Liz voice mails.

In a few days I will have my examination with Doctor Morrison. Then I will see Liz as well and tell her that everything is fine.

Instead I spent my time with painting the floors, the furniture. I spend time teaching Balu some tricks. Cuddling with Balu. Playing with him. I decided to order some cookbooks. I mean I cannot live from take away my whole life. The books will arrive by the end of the week.

I still had some packing cases standing around in some of the rooms. But i didn`t want to continue unpacking before I wasn`t done painting.

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