Monday, November 30, 2015

Something special for you! Chapter 19

Did I really just invited him for dinner? In a restaurant okay, but at my place? Did I really just say that I wanted to cook? I mean I can`t really cook. I could have bitten my tongue for that, but now it was already too late. I would have to cook something, somehow. Maybe I could make him stay in the living room while I order something from the kitchen. But I knew that the possibility for making this work was pretty low.

I thought it was a bit strange that he stayed silent the whole time, that he didn`t say a word. Somehow he didn`t seem to found it as strange as the first time we met. But he will definitely find my cooking skills strange, because they are non-existing.

Before we went over to my house, he said that he just needed bring his board away, so I went with him. He put his board away in the beach kiosk I found that a bit strange. I mean who is storing his surfboard in a beach kiosk? But I didn`t want to ask.

The only thing I could think of was that I had to cook and that I didn`t know how to. We didn`t say a word on the way to my house. I have been grocery shopping, yes. I even bought a cookbook, but I totally forgot to take a look into it. In addition to that I was incredible nervous.

Once we arrived at my house we entered it through the back door. I guess that it wasn`t normal to enter the house through the back door when you are having a guest with you, but I was just so used to it. It was something I started back in the days when the media was waiting in front of my parents` house. It was also the best way to enter their house when I wasn`t wearing the clothes my mom had chosen for me or when I was way too late back home. I am still wondering how long it will take until the media finds out that I have sold the family business. If they find it out they will be probably standing in front of an empty house for a few days. Here nobody knew who I was and that is good.

Nobody who had any expectations on me. I could be who I want to be. I could do what I want to do and slowly find out who I want to be for the future. Because the person I had to be before the accident wasn`t me it was a person I had to be for my parents and I would never ever be someones puppet again. Love is too short not to be yourself, to do what is fun for you, to enjoy life without being judged for it.

Scott had taken his seat on one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Meanwhile I had taken of Balus harness and hung it together with the leash away. Coming back from the Hall I smiled shyly and opened the fridge. Hesitantly I started to take out some groceries: onions, apples, carrots, salad, potatoes, salmon, pineapple, bananas, cream, cheese. Once I turned my view away from the fridge I saw how skeptical he was looking at my selection, one eyebrow raised and a huge smile all over his face.

I raised my shoulders, embarrassed and set a helpless look on my face. This always helped me in my golf lessons when I had just hit the grass, or when the balls just flew into the middle of nowhere.

Maybe it would help me now as well. I started to take out the cutting boards, knifes and saucepans very slowly, because I didn`t really know what I was doing. Scott observed me doing what I did and was smiling at me very amused. `He is probably thinking that I am trying to poison him if I cook now` was all I could think of, but I smiled back at him. Once I had taken out everything I thought I would need and was ready to start to cook something really strange he asked me if he could help. I broke out in laughter, “Yes” I said and nodded relieved. Tears were running down my cheeks of laughter and Scott couldn`t leave it and laughed with me. He stood up from his chair, put the fruits on one cutting board and the vegetables on the other.

“I assume you wanted to make a fruit salad for dessert?- Or did you want to make an exotic soup?” he asked with a big smile all over his face. I had to start laughing again. I placed myself behind the cutting board and took a closer look at the pineapple. Then I started to search in one of the kitchen drawers for that cutter that I had also bought for the apples. While I was cutting the pineapple, apples and bananas very unprofessionally Scott was cutting the potatoes in very thin slices like a pro. Once he saw that I was done he took a lemon out of the fridge and pressed the juice all over the fruit salad.

Fascinated I observed what he was doing in my kitchen. He was making a cream sauce, how he added the cheese and put it all over the potatoes and put the form into the oven. Then he asked me to wash the salad and to cut it. While the potato gratin was cooking in the oven, he made the salmon with herbs and I was trying my best with the salad.

I noticed how much fun I had cooking with him in the kitchen. To do things that I never did before, to cook. Although he was the one that did the actual cooking part. After I finished making the salad, I started to set the table. I wasn`t sure if I should put up wine glasses or not?

We still haven`t talked much and I didn`t want to force it with alcohol consume. Besides I don`t really like the taste of alcohol and especially wine. I put a nice water carafe on the table looked at Scott and asked carefully, “Do you like wine with your meal?- I do not really know much about wine, but I still have a bottle…” I said smiling. I really did have a wine bottle at home, the one I got in the basket with the cheese plate. He smiled at me and nodded.

When I finished setting the table he explained me patiently that the potato gratin is made on another temperature than the salmon and that he will have to reduce the temperature on the potatoes before he is putting the salmon, in a baking foil, into the oven, so that both will be ready at the same time. I listened interested on his explanations. He would never die from hunger in comparison to me.

I had fun. The first time in my life I had really fun. I didn`t felt patronized, although he was telling me what to do, but he did that in a polite and unforced way. In a way that didn`t hem me.

Of course, he was watching me, but not to control me and to look if I am doing it right. No, he was simply just watching me. With his unbelievable blue eyes and smile, that expressed so much calmness and security. It weren`t just his eyes and smile that did that. It was his whole body, beginning with his shoulders, wide and strong, not too muscular, but absolutely perfect to feel protected. He was standing tall which made him look strong without being tense.

He interrupted my thoughts when he went from the oven over to the table to pour some wine into the glasses.

I obviously didn`t notice how he had taken out the food of the oven and placed it on the plates while I stared at him, because I just noticed that the he had already placed the plates on the table before he did pour the wine into the glasses.

He was standing right in front of me, smiling, pointing at the chair to show me to take my seat. I really sucked as a host, got completely lost in my thoughts while he was doing all the work.

“Ahh yes, sorry, I was…”
“…lost in your little world?...I could see that”, he ended my sentence, but didn`t looked upset at all, more amused. We sat down and started to eat.

“HMMM this is really delicious,” I hear myself saying. And it wasn`t a lie, it really was that good. It was a long time ago I had eaten that good tasting food.

He smiled at me again, finished chewing and then asked, “You have never cooked before, right?” The question wasn`t reproachful and I didn`t understand it that way either. It was just a logical conclusion drawing back to my selection of groceries and the fact that I absolutely didn`t know what to do with them. I laughed and nodded. Maybe I should have asked him where he learned to cook this good, but I would first finish eating this really delicious dinner.

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