Dinner had been delicious and I am still surprised about Scotts` cooking skills. The fruit salad had been a fresh and light dessert. I wish I could have served him the perfect dinner but somehow I was completely untalented when it came to cooking.
Scott didn`t seem to be angry about it. We cleaned up the table and I noticed that he didn`t had much of his wine. Maybe he didn`t like wine and the surprise baskets weren`t from him after all. Shall I offer him a beer?
I opened the fridge and took out two bottles of beer, passing one on to him. He took it thankfully and we both had to laugh. I could have come up with this idea earlier but I just assumed that he was the one sending the baskets. Now that I started to think that the baskets might come from another person I find it a bit creepy. But to make sure I do not freak out about nothing I could simply ask him.
“Were you the one who send me the baskets and surprises on Tuesdays?”, I just had to know it. Know that they came from him and not from somebody else. Once he answered “Yes” I was able to breathe out, relieved.
“You seemed sad and it didn`t looked as….as if you knew someone here. I thought you would cheer up about it”, he explained himself. I had to smile. This was the first time that I could notice that he was insecure too and it felt good as it made him so human.
“No worries, they really cheered me up. I just wasn`t a hundred percent sure about you sending them and if…”
“And if they had been from someone else it would have been creepy?” he asked.
I nodded. It would have been creepy as I didn`t know anyone here except of him. The friends I had would have never entered this area of the city, with Liz as an exception. Liz had accepted that I needed some space and time to myself to figure everything out. Liz wouldn`t called me unless I had reached out to her first. So the baskets would have never been from her. But now I was relieved. I thanked him once again. Then I went into the living room and Scott followed me. We both set down on the couch.
I noticed how fascinated he was by the view from the living room and I let him enjoy it for a moment. Usually I didn`t felt the need of asking or talking too much. As a child I was often told I would talk and ask too much, so I stopped doing so.
Maybe this newfound curiosity belonged to my new me, or better said my old real me. I didn`t know and to be honest I didn`t care. Scott was nice, polite, fun. I did feel joy and happiness after a long time of being in a dark place, what could have been wrong about that. What could have been wrong about showing interest in something or someone, I did never understand that.
“Were did you learn cooking like that?” I heard myself asking. Scott explained me how. First a cooking class and then interest. It seemed as if he did teach himself most if it by experimenting after he went to the cooking class. I thought that was so fascinating. “If I would experiment it would never taste that good”, I had thought loud. Once I had said it Scott started to laugh out loud. “It wasn`t always delicious something wasn`t even eatable” he tried to calm me down and we both started to laugh.
“What made you move here?” he asked me. The question was legitimate and I knew I would have needed to answer it sooner or later. I guess I would have preferred later. I was thinking, searching for the right words, I wasn`t sure if there even was a right or wrong.
Either he was one of these never-failing people, who always do great, or he was one of those people who knew that doing the right thing isn`t always the right thing for everybody. From what I know of him so far I considered him being one of the latter, so I started answering.
“I needed a fresh start. I needed to get out of my old life. I couldn`t be me. To be honest, I do not really know who I really am. Not in the meaning of amnesia. I could never live my life, be myself, do me. I was never able to figure out what fun means to me, what I need to be happy. It was normal that we only left the house in particular clothes, it was normal that I had to learn how to play tennis and how to golf. I always knew what I could say and what I might not say. I had to behave as the standard. Never come home drunk from parties, never risk a scandal.” I took a little break. “And now I do not really know what to do with that,” I continued.
“So you are from the other end of the city?” he asked less wondering than I expected.
“Yes I am from the other end of the city…” I confirmed.
“Do you like it here?” he asks curious.
“Yes, I do. It is more quiet than I expected, peacefully…” I couldn`t describe it better, but all in all I liked it.
For a while we didn`t talk, we just enjoyed the view. How did he knew so much about the other end of the city? Usually people from there didn`t come here and the other way around and if they did they were exceptions.
“Are you from here?” I asked him. As I expected he wasn`t from this part of the city. He explained me, why he had moved here and I listened fascinated. We had similar motives and somehow I felt a connection through that. Maybe that was what I had felt when I met him the first time. He wanted to know if it is because of the new situation that made me feel insecure.
“It is not necessarily the fresh start it is more the feeling of not knowing who I am. And to be honest I do not really know how to figure that out. There are so many things that I would like to do from which I think I would enjoy them, have fun. And even if I wouldn`t enjoy them I would at least know what I like and what I don`t like. But then again I do not know how to do these things.”
He looked at me reflective and then starred out the window.