I got to know that Scott had moved here for the same reasons as I did. That he has a list, with all the things he want to do and experience in his life. But he had put the list aside once he had found his old love, surfing, again. We both agreed on working on our lists. We wanted to meet the next day at the beach to make a plan together. A plan that should help us to fulfill the dreams on our lists. It wouldn`t become a single plan for each one of us. It would become one plan, that we would work on together that we would experience together. Because what had become clear tonight was that Scott was lacking motivation while I was lacking courage.
We did make our choice. Tomorrow morning we would meet at the beach and then see. Scott did notice how late it had become and wanted to leave for today. Once he had told me that he wanted to leave he was standing in front of me, both hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised, looking a bit uncomfortable. If he thought that it was not polite to leave or if he he actually wanted to stay was something I couldn`t tell. But what I could say for sure was that he was going to become a great friend.
He did already say goodbye “I am seeing you tomorrow at the beach”, wanted to turn around and leave when I suddenly gave him a hug. I didn`t know what happened. I simply wanted to hug him, thank him, because what he had done today for me was more than any one has ever done for me. He did listen and understand. He hadn`t just ignored what I said. It was about me not about the things surrounding me.
Would I write the list now? There were so many things that I wanted to do but I was so tired. If I would sit down now to write the list I would only forget half of the things I wanted to do. No I would go to bed now and write the list tomorrow morning before I would go to the beach.
I called Balu and went with him upstairs into the bedroom. I put on my pyjamas which wasn`t more than an oversized shirt. Then I went to the bathroom to take off my make-up, cleanse my face and brush my teeth. I brushed my hair one more time before I went to bend. Before I turned off the lights I checked one more time on Balu. He looked at me with his beautiful big eyes. I knew I had neglected him with cuddle sessions today. I called him into the bed. He laid is head on me feet and was holding me as tight as he could. Something that had calmed me down during the first nights when I was dreaming.