Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Depressions - Things you do not want to hear!

Hi everyone!

So today I am back again with a serious post. This is kind of a serious series for me as I just had to get it out there. So many people are dealing with these issues and I find that we all are suffering from the same problem. The problem of people not understanding.
And I figured that when you tell those people yourself what they are doing wrong they just fire back telling you that you are just trying to defend your own behaviour. So I hope it might help you showing these people that not just you are feeling this way and wishing for another kind of behaviour.

So talking depressions. If you know me you know I am a very happy person. But due to my thyroid issues and autoimmunity I can fall into depressions very quickly. For me these are the days I do not want to leave bed, I do not want to see sunlight, I do not want to move and I do not want to hear a single word. I just don`t. I feel exhausted and down and just not able to live. This is quickly said how it feels and I guess a lot of you can relate.

Now what you often get to hear and what absolutely isn`t helping.

#1 Pull yourself together
now this is by far the most heared and most hated one of mine. Do people actually think I like having depressions, do they think I decided on getting them and that I wanted them, that it is fun to have them? Sorry not helping!!!

#2 Just think of all the stuff you could do now
ever thought that that is the reason why I feel the way I feel, because I am absolutely overwhelmed by all the stuff, that my brain and body needs a rest? And don`t you think I hate that I know that this stuff is now laying there and waiting? I do not have this for fun or do this on purpose

#3 You are mentally ill
absolutely not helping and just stupid to say. I mean if you have the flu would you like to have people coming over to you and telling you "you have the flu thats just bacteria?" probably not.

#4 The doctor can help you, maybe you should call a therapist
Do you really think I wouldn`t have done that if that would really help me?

#5 There are better days ahead you just have to make it through this
How should this help me now?

Frankly said and my response to all if these are they are not helping. Some are just upsetting and putting us under even more pressure than we are already under. Some are just disrespectful and show how uneducated people can be. If you do not know how a person feels your questions should rather be "how can I help you?", "what can I do to make you feel better?", "what would you like to do?"
Don`t think of yourself and what you want us to do, this will not change how we feel, this will just make us like you a little bit less.
Of course we have people who support us and understand us, but usually there are people who don`t and I just wanted to show them with this post why we might have cut them out of our lives or why we get mad on their reactions and give them the chance to understand or help you to make them understand.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this post and that this helps you a bit. If you have depressions or any questions feel free to leave me a comment and I will be happy to help you out and discuss it.


Monday, February 22, 2016

Something Special for you! Chapter 37

We entered the club. It was small and dark at first but once we made our way to the bar, stage and dancefloor everything became lighter and bigger. The lighting was mainly in bluetones as well as purples. I went directly to the bar and ordered two beer. One of those I gave to Scott. Slowly more and more people found their way into the club. I had yelled into his ear over the loud music that I rather want to stay at the bar then to join the crowed and pointed towards my scar. He seemed to understand.

She told me several times that I could join the crowed but I wanted to experience the concert with her. Seeing her experience a concert for the first time made it something special for me too.

The band entered the stage and the crowed started to cheer for them. Most of the people in the club seem to already know them. With every song they played more people sang along and the atmosphere got better and better. The lyrics were good, critical, fearless and even though the drums were pretty loud it was still melodic.

Once we had drunken up our beers Emma pulled me with her into the crowd to dance and sing along. The surprise went well considering she had just told me that she didn`t want to join the crowd but it wasn`t the first time that I noticed her fire once she had warmed up.

The band played for almost two hours and we danced and sang along the whole time. I went several times to the bar to get us something to drink. I had seen how several other guys went to Emma to talk to her and ask her to dance with her but she was pretty good to make her way out of situations she didn`t felt comfortable with. She did it in a way that you couldn`t be mad after all. She danced her way through the crowed towards me. Totally out of breath she took the beer out of my hand.

“Thank you” she said, smiling at me.

“Looks like you have found some admirers” I yelled into her ear. I didn`t want to sound jealous. I mean I didn`t had a reason to be jealous. She bursted out into laughter.

“Those…no” she waved away with her hand “they wanted to know if we are the `couple` who rents the cabin in the woods. And to be honest…I am pretty sure two of them were more interested in you than in me.”

He pointed at me than at him then again at me before he pointed again at himself. He seemed shocked.

“Do you mean us two a couple or you and the two guys?” I was pretty amused.

“What…what did you tell them? About me.” I raised my shoulders.

“That we are renting the cabin and that I am not sure if you are interested. Are you interested?”
Now he started to laugh.

“Come let`s go dancing.”

“So are you interested?”

“Not in those two” he whispered into my ear. I was confused. Not in those two or generally not? Maybe I wasn`t his type because of that. Maybe his friendships worked that well because of that and maybe he was that kind because of that too. This was a new theory. If he wasn`t a womanizer he has to be guy.

We were still dancing after the concert when the DJ had started his job again. And we would still be dancing when everyone has left the club and the barkeeper had turned the lights back on. I really didn`t know where she took all of her energy from but it was contagious. Even though I have always felt free on the water I felt like flying right now.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Oops I tried something new again!

Hi everyone!

I am back with a beauty post today. Getting away from the serious and sad stuff for a bit.

I tried a new "bath" which is recommended for dry skin which you all know I have year round. There can be several reasons for that with Hashimotos but also "just" my skin. Think of dry air. Cold weather. Allergies. Ekzema. You name it.

So I know there are a ton of possible would work additions to my bath varying in their prices from 1 Euro to open end.
So of course I want to try the most affordable one. This big bottle is available for around 2 Euros I think.

Lets take a look at it.

It has a nice  smell and definetly gives you the feeling of sitting in oily water when you are in the bath. Getting out of the bath and drying my skin I cannot see any obvious benefits my skin is as usual soft after taking a bath, which can come from my body wash as well.
I have some issues with the packaging though. I feel that the hole where you pour it out is waaaaay to big there is coming out so much product which is for my bath waaaaay to much. You will be sitting in a field of lather. It is just too much. I tried to put it into my bath in different ways but the opening is just too big. For this price with this as the only flaw it is an absolutely great product and you can really relax.

Let me know what you use as a "bath". So maybe I can find something I like even more.

See you soon.


Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Something Special for you! Chapter 36

The Fair was overwhelming for me. I was standing in front of it as I had developed roots into the ground. Scott had just kept going until he noticed. He turned around.

What was wrong with her now? I went back to her.

“What is wrong?” I looked at her worried. Her eyes were filled with tears.

“If you don`t want to go we can leave again.” I tried again.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I told myself over and over again to not start crying. When I cried then because I was completely overwhelmed. Scott moved towards me, wanted to hug me and calm me down but I didn`t needed that. I didn`t need to be calmed down. I was just unbelievable happy and teared up over it.

“I am fine,” I smiled.
“This whole thing is just so beautiful. All these lights and the laughter. Real laughter.”

“So you cry out of joy?”

“Yes let`s go!”

We went over the Fair. Tried our luck at the shooting game. I was sure that the rifle wasn`t working the way it should. I didn`t hit the target. I was not even close. I couldn`t understand it as my dad had always taken me with him to the shooting ranch. In the End Scott managed to shoot the target and got me a big teddy bear. I guess there was a little cowboy in him besides the surfer.

Now I walked happy with my teddy bear over the fair. We passed the swing carousel where joyful screaming kids enjoyed their ride. We were standing in front of the Ferris wheel. Scott looked at me as if he wanted to ask me to take a ride on the Ferris wheel. I think it is too cheesy and boring sitting in a gondola and drive up and down in slow motion. I could still do that when I am old. No I had seen something different.

“Come one,” I pulled Scott at his arm with me to the rollercoaster.

“I want to write this one.” I didn`t need to talk Scott into it. He is an adrenaline junkie.

After the first ride I thought my ears got seriously damaged by her screaming. After the first right I must have gotten used to it.
She obviously was a little adrenaline junkie too. I had nearly had to force her out of the rollercoaster to make it to the concert in time.

On the way to the Club she had bought popcorn and cotton candy. She was really like a little kid in a candy shop but she had never experienced all this. These were all new impressions and she seemed to love them from the bottom of her heart.

Monday, February 15, 2016

"I wished I would have been born 20 years earlier"

Hi everyone!

If you have read my recent post on "Why I deactivated my Facebook Account" (find it here) you know that I have some more serious posts coming up. If this is not your thing please feel free to check out my other posts. Although I of course want you to reconsider and keep reading on.

I recently had a lot of chats with friends my age, that have just graduated from University and friends that are still in University. A lot of them including myself are suffering from stress, anxiety and depressions. And nearly everyone said to me "I wish I would have been born twenty years earlier" or "I wish I could live far away from all of this". Now why is that you may wonder?

Well I thought of the last time I was happy (and I mean overall happy) which was in 2009/2010 when I was an AuPair on the norwegian countryside. In a small village with only 80 inhabitants not too far from the city but about an hour. I know I am young and young people need action right?
Well for me it is not like that and I know that for a lot of other people it isn`t either. We need to socialize yes, but are we actually doing that today?
I don`t think so. I remember having my daily walk with the dog in the beautiful nature of Norway relaxing, then doing my job and sitting together with family and friends in the evening enjoying board games. But I had this time for myself which in todays world seems to be rare.

When I decided to go back to University here in Germany, I had the expectations I had from University in Norway of working together as a team from respecting each other and having fun together. Well of course I have my friends but in Germany you get educated to compete. They tell you to rely on the people that know less than you do. They tell you to look left and right because those student might not be there any longer the next semester. This puts you under a lot of pressure. I mean come on no person who really wants to study and who really cares isn`t pressuring her-/himself to pass the exam better than just pass. So is this pressure really necessary is it motivating and encouraging you in a good way or does it make you freak out, panic and constantly stressed?

As a comparison to when I was studying Norway we were told "Take a look left and right these are the people you will have to work with, these are the people you are doing your group assignments with, so treat them as your teammembers and friends". Instead of telling us that we were lazy because we didn`t manage to read the whole material of 600 pages in a week while still studying for other subjects they told us "Stop saying you can`t, because you can do this, you just didn`t learn it yet, but you will you just have to ask and keep working on it?"
Now tell me which is more encouraging and motivating you?

While you are still in University and doing all you can to get good marks you have the pressure of "what will be?" because we all know in a highly competitive fast paced world they just want the best and always the best, but they also want experience. So with all your reading pensum you got to work beside your studies best in the field you want to work in later. But you shall work for free do internships and best is if you already know what you have to do because nobody has the time and the nerves to explain it to you. They just expect and well they can expect right?
So what do you do if working and studying at the same time isn`t working up to your grades? You need longer? Well where to get the money from when you need longer than the regular time? And keep in mind you are getting older too? So what to decide on work and study or just study and be ready on time?

Well then you are lacking the 30 years of experience at the age 25 they require you to have for the job? Well and if then there is someone who already has connection...guess who will get the job (qualified or not)? So what to do with your life? Where will it end? And didn`t the employers were at an entry level once too? Were they perfect from the start or did they have to learn?

Who doesn`t know this and who isn`t stressed out about it?

Another thing that comes with competition is jealousy. And what do people do when they are jealous? A lot of people get mean. They get disrespectful. They intrigue and they bully. So sum this up as another stress factor.
When you come home you have your household, you got to study and everything just needs to be perfect, you need to be better than the neighbours. You need to be fit and toned. You need to eat healthy and cook the perfect meals...just keep going the list is endless.
But where in all of this is the living part? Aren`t we allowed to live? Or is this what life is expected to be like in 2016? Is this what life is about? - About working and working and working? I actually thought work was about working but maybe I am just naiv.

For me todays world and lives lack humanity. You remember sitting there as a kid or teenager hearing your parents tell you about how their lifes were? Of course it wasn`t always easy for them but they had time to live. They got respected. Today everybody just keeps judging other people looking down on them and then we are talking equality? Is this what our parents fought for and worked for? So that most of us are burned out by the age of 25-30 because of the joy of fast money?

I think all this is why I recently said I wished I was living in a cabin in the woods, far away from all of this, with some animals and a vegetable garden, going back to the simple life? Maybe this is it. Who knows. Maybe we should overthink what really matters to us, what life is really about. Would we want to live the way we do if we only had a couple of weeks left or would we want to change the way of our life. Maybe we should think about that.

I know there are people just like me and my friends who are feeling the exact same way maybe you are one of them. Maybe you struggle too. Maybe you also wonder shall it be like this? Is this right? If so lets discuss it, lets talk about it. Staying quiet and accepting things as they are won`t make a change.

Take care and see you soon.


Saturday, February 13, 2016

Why I deactivated my Facebook account

Hi everyone!

It took me some time to sit down and write this post, but I think I managed to find the right words to explain my decision on deactivating my Facebook Account for good and maybe this post gets you thinking about it too.

Now first of all I want to write this post to explain to my family and friends all over the World why I made this decision, but besides that I want to get people to start to think.
I will let you know how I started Facebook and how it changed in my eyes and in the end, why I deactivated it.

I started my Facebook Account many years ago. It was great to keep in touch with family and friends. It was the easiest tool to do so. I was able to share photos and activities with them without having to contact them one by one. And back then this was what Facebook was about, connecting. Then the whole game thing started and it was fine in the beginning when there was just Candy Crush and Farm Heroes, but all of a sudden there were thousands of games and thousands of game requests. If Facebook wouldn`t have changed the settings so that you were able to ignore them and turn them off I would have already deactivated my account back then, if it wouldn`t have been such an easy platform to communicate with friends and family. But all this was another thing.

Back then I still communicated with the people who lived close to me in another way. I didn`t had to send them a Facebook message to ask them to meet. I just called or went over. Everything was more personal and you did more things together not having a phone in your hand. You had the time you had together for real. Today everybody just listens half way as they are looking on their phone checking out Facebook statuses. But that is another thing too, although I think it has a lot to do with my decision.

Over the past few years Facebook changed. The whole meaning of it for me was to connect with people, people I like and people I enjoy being around, but can`t be around as they are not living right around the corner. Today it is used as a marketing tool, as a political discussion platform and to bully people.

I mean it is really great to see a lot of companies, but scrolling through your dashboard just getting recommendation over recommendation, isn`t really what I want on Facebook. I was there in the first place to connect in a respectful way. But with it becoming political it also became ugly. There are so many posts out there full of hate and racism and Facebook isn`t doing anything about it. There are so many threads against people out there on facebook. I can`t even name all the things I have read on my friends facebook page in the past months or on mine or even on others. These comments shouldn`t be there and they shouldn`t be allowed. No person who gets threatened like that takes it easy. It is often hurtful and stressful.

Another point is the bullying. All of us know it you join a Group on Facebook of your interest and comment a post and some person comments it in a totally inappropriate way that is just full of ignorance and hate. Now you could say you do not care because you do not know that person and a lot of people do, but deep down in your soul it hurts.

For me one of these comments was the reason that made my final decision on deactivating my Account. And I would like to give this as an example here as it is not the worst but it shows what people are using Facebook.

I recently joined a Group where you can ask questions regarding lawstudies and law in general. You may assume that there is a polite tone in a group full of professionals or aspiring professionals. Someone asked a question to a case that regarded himself. The first comment he got was objectively. The second person who commented had stalked his profile figured out he was in a political party he disliked and got personal in his answer. They had a discussion that went back and forth and it worsened and worsened. It simply got ugly. I couldn`t see it so I wrote a comment myself where I said that I was shocked that in a group of professionals I would have expected a professional tone and that people would be able to answer questions objectively. The answer I got was unbelievable. The person told me I wasn`t allowed to comment as I didn`t had my law degree yet and that I wasn`t intelligent enough due to that. I mean seriously? How low can you get? I was deeply hurt and mad. This person didn`t even know me but felt free to judge me? I know it was an idiot but still. I see this all over Facebook.

You write a post where you say that people shouldn`t call all refugees criminals just because some are (we had some incidents here in Germany) and you get a comment that you will burn in hell for supporting refugees. Seriously?

People do not have to share my opinion, but they have to be respectful. Social media was once about being social. Today it is a paradise for bullies.

And it is not just bullying in the categories I mentioned now there are way more bad things.
You know all these Fitness Accounts and Commercials that constantly tell you your body image is wrong? You know all these comments under photos of people that they are ugly or fat? That is not social. That is what is destroying people. That is what makes people sick.
Where is the respect? When did we loose all that humanity?

Or is it just easier to be mean and disrespectful to a person you do not know and that you do not have to face? I think this last question is one of the reasons why there are such things happening on facebook.

You can call me over sensitive right now if you want to I am fine with that. At least I was strong enough to not anylonger let this get to me and stop it by deleting my Facebook.
I did this to save my mental health, to reduce my stress and to keep me away from getting depressions.

I am not sure if you will like this post and you do not have to. Maybe this post got you thinking, maybe not. But I had to get it out there. I had to explain my reasons, because I know there are more people out there suffering and always thinking should I delete it or not. For me the moment I took the decision gave me an immediate relief and to be honest I cried at first as I was worried I would loose my friends. But I have had my friends before Facebook and I will have my friends after Facebook as well. There are so many other ways to communicate, that are more personal and less out of control as Facebook is.

I know this is a more serious post as usual and there will come more serious posts in the next weeks as I had a lot of discussions with friends after I made my decision and shared it that got me (us) thinking and that showed me that there are more people out there feeling the same way. So why not put it out there and discuss it?

If you comment, please consider a friendly and respectful tone, which I usually have on my blog. Any hateful comments which I luckily haven`t had on here yet will be deleted. Feel free to share this post and let me know what you think in the comments below.


Friday, February 12, 2016

Something Special for you! Chapter 35

Later that night we cooked together. He still had to explain and show me a lot but I slowely got better. As last time we had a lot of fun together although I had to watch out to not cut into my fingers while staring at him in admiration.

The more I tried in the kitchen the more I learned and the more I enjoyed it. Maybe I would be able to cook him a dinner at the End of the roadtrip.

I should stop saying "maybe" and really set it as a goal. "At the End of our roadtrip I will cook him a dinner" I promised myself secretely.

Today we would have Spaghetti Bolognese. He didn`t used a premade sauce from the store as I would have done, he made everything by himself. It tasted completely different as I would find out later. All these fresh flavours.

"Do you want to take a shower first? Before we are going to the city? I mean you probably need longer."
I had totally forgotten, that we wanted to the opening of the fair and afterwards into the club for the small club concert.

I was still chewing my food, so I just nodded my head.
"Hmm. Hmm." I swallowed my food. "yes I would love to. Thank you."

So I was the first to try this shower, but how was it working? I did get the water to run but only the cold water. No matter what I did and in which way I screw the handles it didn`t changed the temperature just the amount of cold water.

I only heared squeaking from the bathroom. What was she doing there`? I wondered.
After I could still hear her squeaking after five minutes I knocked at the door and asked if everything was fine or she had found a spider. Her answer came promptly "Everything is fine I am just singing" she screamed with her voice shaking and again squeaking. I had heared her sing, but this was no singing, but I had asked and she had answered, so what more to do?

After ten minutes she was done taking her shower. I knew that because I couldn`t hear any more water running. After another ten minutes she came with dripping wet hair and in underwear out of the bathroom.

"Excuse me, I totally forgot to take my other clothes with me into the bath" she said when she saw my confused face. I wasn`t able to react. I was already positively surprised when I saw her in her Bikini but in underwear it was a completely different thing. I mean I was just a man.

I took my clothes and went back into the bathroom. Then I put on my clothes.
He knocked on the door again.
"If we want to make it to the opening we need to hurry a bit."
I opened the door with the hair dryer in my hand.
"Okay I will blow dry my hair in the bedroom so that you can take a shower now."

I took a look into the bath. I saw that you couldn`t look through the shower, at least not at the important parts. I took a quick moment to think while Emma tried to pass by me but I was blocking her way.

"Okay I`ll go inside, take my clothes off go into the shower and then I will call you and you can come in."

Emmas eyes opened up wide.

"Ohhh, that wasn`t meant as it sounded. You can`t look through the shower and I thought you need a real mirror to do your hair and make up."

"If you knew what I just thought," she said exploding in laughter.
"Well then go ahead. I will wait here until you call me in."

That`s how we still made to the opening.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

What was this about, again?

Hi everyone!

Today I want to go back to why I actually started this blog, what I wanted it to be about etc.

So today exactly one year ago I got diagnosed with Hashimotos Thyroiditis. Half a year later I started this blog mainly to write about this chronical condition and how I live with it. Which products I use, what I eat, how I cook and what I enjoy doing.

So far this blog has little been about my condition. I haven`t let you know in detail how I feel, how this effects me and how this first year has been for me, how the years until I got diagnosed have been for me and how I feel right now.

I mainly didn`t talk about it because I wasn`t really able to put most of my feelings into words. I still can`t speak very well about it and I often can`t describe how I feel.
I think it is normal as I am still in the progress of getting used to it, to find the right medication and lifestyle for my condition.

I also didn`t put it out there yet as much as I wanted to as I was afraid. I was afraid people might not want to know or might not understand.
But as I see more and more friends getting sick or having chronical conditions I decided to try to talk more about it in the future.
As it is something more and more people affect today I think it is necessary to talk about it and to make non affected people understand.

I do hear a lot from other people that I have changed. Some say even I got complicated. Well I do not really think so. I try my best to not talk much about it as people do not like that. Then again I sometimes think some comments by people are really insensitive and not thought well through. Maybe that is because they know too little about the actual condition I do not know.
Maybe I am oversensitive due to my way to my diagnosis. I do not know that either.
What I know is people can only understand it when you explain it and when they want to understand.

One thing I kept doing through this past year is journaling. Not every day but most days.  Somedays I only wrote down one word. Somedays one sentence, Some a whole page and some several pages.
And this is what I want to share with you in the future. You will find more posts that are more private and less posts on beauty.
You will find more critical posts beside my happy beauty and book posts. You will find more me on this blog.
So far you only had a bit of it in my Something Special book posts and a lot of you seem to enjoy them. So I hope you will enjoy the real me posts in the future too.

See you soon


Monday, February 8, 2016

Something special for you! Chapter 34

We started our journey to our first stop early in the morning. The small town we had looked up. I had forgotten the name of the city already. And it was still that early. I was really happy that Scott had already programmed the GPS before he had come to pick me and Balu up. So I didn`t had to think any more about it.

Balu had taken his spot in the backseat and I did make sure he was secured. He did immediately lay down on his pillow. I had taken a mug of tea with me and sat down silently in the passenger seat. He seemed to know that I wasn`t a morning person and that I was never in a talking mood that early in the morning so he didn`t say a word.

So the first hour of our ride was absolutely quiet.

We had choosen the small town as it had a tivoli and clubconcerts although it was small. In addition to that I didn`t like big cities anyways and for a dog like Balu it would have been too stressful.

After our first break the atmosphere had warmed and loosened up a bit. A bit of smalltalk here and there. The last hour of our ride we had let our karaoke talent free. It was loud and wrong singing and Scott really went totally overboard with his Tina Turner immitation but it was so much fun.

The owner of the cabin did say we could pick up the key at the local diner and so did we.

She gave us a warm welcome and apologized for not being able to show us around the cabin personally. She is the owner of the diner and due to the town`s fair she had to stay in the diner. She let us know that if there should be any problems we would always be able to find her at the diner.

We thanked her and made our way to the cabin.

"I`ll just go for a walk with Balu first" I said once we arrived at the cabin.

"Okay. I will get everything inside."

I had been nervous. I had already told him in the car that I would need a  moment to myself.

He hadn`t taken it in wrong, it wasn`t against him, I was simply overwhelmed.

I had taken the bags from the truck and brought them inside. It was a nice cabin, not very big but nice. Once I Had brought everything inside the house Emma came back.

"Emma did we look if the cabin has two bedrooms?" I asked. I had already noticed that this cabin for two people only had one bedroom when I brought the bags in. So I would have to sleep on the couch.

"Oh" the look n Emmas face did tell me that she hadn`t thought of that fact. I saw how she started to think and already wanted to say that I could sleep on the couch, but then she said "but such a dobblebed is well big enough for two. I mean we are already grown up right?"

"Are you sure?  I can sleep on the couch."

"If I am sure about the bed being big enough? Or about you and me being grown ups?" She joked around and we both started to laugh.

"Keep going, get your bags into the bedroom." I wouldn`t say this twice. If he has a problem with it he would have to sleep on the couch. I did think right. He only had a problem with it as long as he thought I had a problem with it, because he was already on his way into the bedroom with his bag.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Light Make-Up for when you are sick!

Hi everyone!
As you may know I recently had pneumonia and am still recovering.
I didn`t got much sleep and my skin got very dehydrated although I kept cleansing and moisturizing it several times a day. I also got some puffyness around my eyes, dark circles and a very rednose with lots of dry patches.
So as you may know me I didn`t wanted to leave the house with that kinda face so I put on a minimal makeup that I want to share with you.

So first of all after my usual morning routine of cleansing and moisturizing my face I put cold cotton pads onto my eyes to reduce the puffiness. After that I put on a cold eyecream (I kept it in the fridge) to repair the dry areas around my eyes.
I primed my skin and added MACs Fix+ to it. I think any mineral kind of water would help for extra hydration. I then applied my YSL Le Touche Eclat Foundation (my shade is B40) with a little bit of Fix+ on my brush to my face. I blended it well also down to my neck. I used a tiny bit of my Prolongwear Concealer (I think I have it in NC20 at the moment) I put it on with my finger and blended it by dapping my finger from outer corner to inner corner.
For my Cheeks I used MACs Cremeblend Blush in Something Special dabbing and dragging it from the apple of my cheeks outwards.
As I keep rubbing my eyes often when I am sick I just brushed and curled my lashes.
For my lips I used Vaseline (a waterfree version).
I then added another spritz of Fix+ all over my face and was good to go.

What is your routine for when you are sick?
Let me know in the comments below.
See you soon.


Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Something special for you! Chapter 33

Emma and I went on the planned grocery shopping once we had grabbed a snack at the hospitals cafè. Emma was completely changed. She was her usually self. She was the Emma I got to know over the past days, bubbly and relaxed. She had made a grocery list last night, I didn`t really know what she wanted to do with these things because she wasn`t able to cook, but I put them into the cart anyways.

Back at her place we prepared the snack and a salad for tomorrows drive. She filled the food into containers before she packed them into a cooler box.

I drove to my house to pack my things and the camping equipment on the Truck. We would pack Emma`s a bit later as she wanted to be alone preparing a surprise. I was just hoping that she wouldn`t cook.

When I came back to her place I was already smelling the chocolate when I stepped into the garden. When she opened the backdoor she looked like a chocolate monster. Her hands were covered in chocolate. What was she doing?

“Didn`t you tell me you can`t cook?”

“Well I don`t cook I bake.”

“Oh…and what shall this be?”

“Some kind of almond coconut balls covered in chocolate.”

I became more and more skeptical although it smelled amazing and these balls were really looking like pralines.

“As a snack for our ride. They are really amazing,” she said putting one into my mouth. Now I was surprised they tasted amazing. She impressed me once again.

Cooking wasn`t her thing, but baking was fine. Good to know that.

“Stop looking this shocked. My Nanny did bake with me when I was a kid and I found the recipe with the things I took with me from home.”

I packed her things on the truck and was surprise that she just had one big bag with her. Most women would have taken their whole closet for a that long trip, but I better not ask otherwise she would start to rethink her packing. She brought all the snacks out into the truck. Then we said goodbye for today.

Tomorrow our roastrip would start and I was nervous as hell although I wasn`t showing it. 
I could bet she was nervous too, but she was covering it well.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

New Bodywash: Treacle Moon

Hi everyone!

So I recently had some empties of bathing products and decided to try some new products. As you may know from former posts of mine I have a very difficult skin, although it may not look like it.
Due to my autoimmunity I have developed several allergies and my skin is usually the first that reacts. So there are often ingredients that may set me off in products.

#1 How it caught my attention
Thats how I came across treacle moon, which first of all is silicone and parabene free. I don`t always react to these two but I found a consistency in reacting more often to products that contain these ingredients. So when I saw that treacle moons body washes were free from those I was very happy and willing to give them a try.
Now another bonus for us animal lovers is that they are absolutely vegan and not animal tested.
And the final bonus was that the price for a 500ml bottle is around 3,50 Euros.

#2 The scent
I bought the bodywash in Apple Pie and Raspberry. Now I must say they smell very intense when you smell at the bottle and it set me a bit off at first. I was a bit afraid of smelling like an apple pie or a raspberry all day. But once you wash yourself with it you notice that the smell isn`t as intense as when you smell at a full bottle of it. I find both scents are very fresh, fruity but fresh and you don`t have to worry about it being too strong.

#3 My skins reaction
Now lets talk about how my skin reacts to this. During winter I have several dry patches that tend to get even drier after taking a bath/shower. I also have several red allergy spots at the moment (I blame these on stress and meds I got while I had my pneumonia at the beginning of the month).
So I use my shower creams usually on a exfoliating sponge so I also used this one with the sponge. I found that an almond sized amound was enough for my whole body. It is amazing that a little bit goes a that long way so I was pretty impressed.
My skin felt very soft right after applying it and even after washing it off and drying myself my skin was hydrated enough so that I didn`t felt like needing a body lotion. So this is great for when you are in a hurry as well. I didn`t had any reactions to it. My dry patches are nearly all gone and I really love how it leaves my skin.

#4 Would I buy it again?
Yes. I would definetly buy these body washes again. I feel they are definetly as good as the bodywash I had from clinique. The only difference is that I can buy for the price of one clinique bottle of bodywash 5 bottles of the treacle moon bodywash. So how great is this? 

Have you tried them? - If so what do you think about them?
What body washes are you using? Let me know in the comments below.

See you soon for more new products I use