Monday, February 15, 2016

"I wished I would have been born 20 years earlier"



Hi everyone!

If you have read my recent post on "Why I deactivated my Facebook Account" (find it here) you know that I have some more serious posts coming up. If this is not your thing please feel free to check out my other posts. Although I of course want you to reconsider and keep reading on.

I recently had a lot of chats with friends my age, that have just graduated from University and friends that are still in University. A lot of them including myself are suffering from stress, anxiety and depressions. And nearly everyone said to me "I wish I would have been born twenty years earlier" or "I wish I could live far away from all of this". Now why is that you may wonder?

Well I thought of the last time I was happy (and I mean overall happy) which was in 2009/2010 when I was an AuPair on the norwegian countryside. In a small village with only 80 inhabitants not too far from the city but about an hour. I know I am young and young people need action right?
Well for me it is not like that and I know that for a lot of other people it isn`t either. We need to socialize yes, but are we actually doing that today?
I don`t think so. I remember having my daily walk with the dog in the beautiful nature of Norway relaxing, then doing my job and sitting together with family and friends in the evening enjoying board games. But I had this time for myself which in todays world seems to be rare.

When I decided to go back to University here in Germany, I had the expectations I had from University in Norway of working together as a team from respecting each other and having fun together. Well of course I have my friends but in Germany you get educated to compete. They tell you to rely on the people that know less than you do. They tell you to look left and right because those student might not be there any longer the next semester. This puts you under a lot of pressure. I mean come on no person who really wants to study and who really cares isn`t pressuring her-/himself to pass the exam better than just pass. So is this pressure really necessary is it motivating and encouraging you in a good way or does it make you freak out, panic and constantly stressed?

As a comparison to when I was studying Norway we were told "Take a look left and right these are the people you will have to work with, these are the people you are doing your group assignments with, so treat them as your teammembers and friends". Instead of telling us that we were lazy because we didn`t manage to read the whole material of 600 pages in a week while still studying for other subjects they told us "Stop saying you can`t, because you can do this, you just didn`t learn it yet, but you will you just have to ask and keep working on it?"
Now tell me which is more encouraging and motivating you?

While you are still in University and doing all you can to get good marks you have the pressure of "what will be?" because we all know in a highly competitive fast paced world they just want the best and always the best, but they also want experience. So with all your reading pensum you got to work beside your studies best in the field you want to work in later. But you shall work for free do internships and best is if you already know what you have to do because nobody has the time and the nerves to explain it to you. They just expect and well they can expect right?
So what do you do if working and studying at the same time isn`t working up to your grades? You need longer? Well where to get the money from when you need longer than the regular time? And keep in mind you are getting older too? So what to decide on work and study or just study and be ready on time?

Well then you are lacking the 30 years of experience at the age 25 they require you to have for the job? Well and if then there is someone who already has connection...guess who will get the job (qualified or not)? So what to do with your life? Where will it end? And didn`t the employers were at an entry level once too? Were they perfect from the start or did they have to learn?

Who doesn`t know this and who isn`t stressed out about it?

Another thing that comes with competition is jealousy. And what do people do when they are jealous? A lot of people get mean. They get disrespectful. They intrigue and they bully. So sum this up as another stress factor.
When you come home you have your household, you got to study and everything just needs to be perfect, you need to be better than the neighbours. You need to be fit and toned. You need to eat healthy and cook the perfect meals...just keep going the list is endless.
But where in all of this is the living part? Aren`t we allowed to live? Or is this what life is expected to be like in 2016? Is this what life is about? - About working and working and working? I actually thought work was about working but maybe I am just naiv.

For me todays world and lives lack humanity. You remember sitting there as a kid or teenager hearing your parents tell you about how their lifes were? Of course it wasn`t always easy for them but they had time to live. They got respected. Today everybody just keeps judging other people looking down on them and then we are talking equality? Is this what our parents fought for and worked for? So that most of us are burned out by the age of 25-30 because of the joy of fast money?

I think all this is why I recently said I wished I was living in a cabin in the woods, far away from all of this, with some animals and a vegetable garden, going back to the simple life? Maybe this is it. Who knows. Maybe we should overthink what really matters to us, what life is really about. Would we want to live the way we do if we only had a couple of weeks left or would we want to change the way of our life. Maybe we should think about that.

I know there are people just like me and my friends who are feeling the exact same way maybe you are one of them. Maybe you struggle too. Maybe you also wonder shall it be like this? Is this right? If so lets discuss it, lets talk about it. Staying quiet and accepting things as they are won`t make a change.

Take care and see you soon.

❤️Nadja

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