Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Welcome to another Makeup post. We all know I love Makeup and experimenting with it when I go out but what most people don`t know is that on a daily basis I rarely wear makeup at all. I don`t put makeup on to go to the grocery store or post office. But sometimes you want to meet up with a friend or have an appointment or just university or school. Those days I like a light natural luminous look that enhances my good sites.
This is the look I want to present you today. The picture above has a warmer filter as I didn`t want to shock you with how pale I actually am right away.
So lets begin.
First of all I wash my face as every morning a bit of warm water followed by a quick cleanse with my Dermalogica Essential Cleansing Solution. Then I spray the Dermalogica Multi Active Toner all over my face and pad that in before I moisturize my face with the Dermalogica Clear Start Breakout Clearing Daytime Treatment. (Yes I love Dermalogica, if you would like a more detailed post on my skincare routine and on the products I use by Dermalogica let me know in the comments below and I am happy to write a post on that)
Now on to my makeup.
Before I go in with foundation I apply a thin layer of the Laura Mercier Radiance Primer. For foundation I use the Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation (I am a shade 4) and buff that in with a Zoeva Buffer Brush. I only use one pump of the foundation for my whole face going a bit stronger on the areas where I have some pigmentation (around my mouth and nose) and then fade the rest out over my face evenly. I then go in with my Pro Longwear Concealer by MAC (in NW20 i think) and brighten up my under eye area, my chin and a bit on my forehead and the back of my nose. I buff that in with the same buffer brush I used earlier.
To warm up my skin I use Benefits Hoola Bronzer in a 3 shape (cheekbones, temples, jawline) just lightly. To give my cheeks that glow I go in with MACs Mineral Blush in Improvise and as a highlight I used wet n wilds coloricon bronzer in reserve your cabana and I used my finger to apply this.
For my lips I first went in with Brave by MAC which I felt was too strong for the day I blotted that and then went over with Viva Glam II by MAC blotted that again and then put a lip balm on top and I actually love the colour I got this way.
I then put a bit of that highlighter I used earlier on top of my cheeks in the inner corner of my eye and I blended hoola in my crease.
As I have allergies and am constantly rubbing my eyes I decided to just curl my lashes and not use any mascara.
I then sprayed my face with MAC Fix + and that is the finished look.
I hope you like the look. Let me know what else you would like to see in the comments below.
See you soon
Monday, March 28, 2016
I wondered. She became pretty silent after she had asked me where I had learned all that. Maybe my answer was too harsh. She had asked someone else to help me out and did walk away without saying a word. I would have to make up for it but for now she had left with this little girl. I looked as she walked away. Once I couldn`t see her any longer I started to focus on my work again. It didn`t work as easy as with Emma and it was just half as fun as with her but that was my own fault.
When she came back I looked up. She had a bag full of fabric and other crafting supplies for the children and for Lexie and herself.
When we came together for the barbecue in the evening Emma was still sitting separated, crafting something with the little girl. I must have looked at them a bit too long as Martha was suddenly standing right beside me and started to explain, “Lexie, the little girl that is by your wife, lost her entire family about two years ago. She has always had a pillow with her that her grandmother had made for her. It burned down in the fire. Your wife helps her to make a new one.”
First I thought about interrupting Martha to tell her that Emma and I weren`t a couple and especially not a married couple but when Martha started to explain who the little girl is and what Emma was doing there I decided not to. Instead I listened carefully, nodded my head and kept observing Lexie and Emma.
Suddenly I had an idea how I would make up for earlier today. I would fill Emma in once we got back to the cabin but first we had to talk about tomorrows plan. We would help with the painting of the huts, as well as with building the high sleepers, the drawers and the dressers. Then we our project will be finished and Emma and I would continue our roadtrip.
After Lexie had given me a bear hug and pulled her pillow into her chest we had stood up. It looked like a turtle but was far away from looking like an actual turtle.
She came towards me and once she stood in front of me she had her hands in her pockets and her shoulders raised. A big smile was all over her face.
“It isn`t perfect but obviously the thought was worth more than a perfect result.”
I nodded. “She is happy with it for sure.”
“Yes,” Emma said before she went to get some food.
After we had talked through tomorrows plan we drove back to the cabin. It was a silent ride home but Emma wasn`t as cold as she had been the rest of the day towards me.
While Emma was in the shower I searched the Internet and had found exactly two tickets and bought them immediately. I had saved them to my email and then called Annie. I asked her if she could print them out. Of course, she would print them out. She would give them to me tomorrow at the new children`s home. We would really make it. Built up a new children`s home in just a week. Made the huts habitable in just a week. Without the help of the whole town this wouldn`t have been possible. There had come a whole school class in the afternoon and volunteered to build up the small huts that should function as toilets. They had worked quick and good.
Emma did came out of the bathroom just in underwear and handed me her body lotion.
“Could you help me with my back? I got a bit…”
“Burned,” I finished her sentence when I saw her back.
“Yes.” She said after she had taken her long her over her shoulder so that her back was free.
I was surprised how gentle he was even though I had shrugged together when the cold lotion touched my skin. The massage was good after we had worked so hard the past days.
“I have a surprise by the way. To make up for my comment earlier the day.”
She turned around and looked at me with a big questionnaire on her face.
“Do you remember the band you told me about? - Well I got tickets for their concert on Saturday night but we would have to leave already on Friday morning. So we wouldn`t be there for the reopening of the children`s home.”
I was prepared that she could have gotten upset because we would have to leave before the reopening but she was smiling and wrapping her arms around me.
“You wouldn`t have to do that. I mean I knew you didn`t mean it the way it sounded. But I am of course happy that you did that” she said. She made a squeaky sound and jumped up and down joyfully, and started to sing.
“And you are really not upset that we won`t be there for the reopening?” She looked at me gave it a quick thought and then said that she wouldn`t like farewells anyways. She danced into the bedroom where she put on her pyjamas and went to sleep.
Friday, March 25, 2016
After we talked about Overweight and the things that aren`t helping in the last post of this category I want to talk about the things that helped me loose weight but also be happy with the weight I am at.
As with everything my Hashimoto diagnosis has teached me a lot and it has also helped me with my overweight. It helped me understand why I am overweight and why loosing weight is so hard for me. So not all of these points I mention will help you but maybe they help you understand that you are not alone in this.
Accept your weight. Accept your body and most of all accept who you are. You are beautiful no matter what. For me this was so hard to accept and understand. It took me years and mainly because of point number 1 in my last post. Getting told over and over again that you are overweight makes you feel imperfect. It makes you feel something is wrong with you when it actually isn`t. You are fine the way you are no matter your weight. No matter what society or Hollywood says. Your body is your and you should love and accept it the way it is. Be yourself and be proud of yourself. Like I said previously their are several reasons for why you might be overweight. Beating yourself up about eating too much, not working out enough won`t help you. And this leads me to ....
#2 Find your sport
I mean it. I knew the first day I went to the gym to loose weight that I do not like it. I went never the less. I forced myself. I was unhappy with it felt uncomfortable and over all didn`t loose weight. So ask yourself before you join a gym if you really enjoy it if you can stick to it or if you should rather try to just get moving first. The most important thing is that you start somewhere. It can be a one hour walk per day, swimming, etc. It doesn`t have to be something big or something that stresses you out. Do something you feel comfortable doing and make it a habit and don`t beat yourself up if you miss a day. You can asign an extra walk for the weekends instead. I tried so many sports. Like Badminton, Swimming, Boxing, Running, etc. Trust me when I say I try a lot and I enjoyed a lot. But not everything is managable with my schedule and I had to take that into consideration as well and that is how I for myself ended up with yoga. And although people told me that I won`t see as big progress as they see in the gym I proved them wrong because after all everybodys body is different. So go out there and try different things and if you find that one thing that you miss when you are not doing it and I really mean miss than do that. Choose that thing and enjoy it. Enjoy that time for you. Which leads me to...
#3 Find your eating style
I say eating style because it is something you will have to keep up. It is not a diet that you will do until you reach your goal it is something that fits into your life so good that you do not have to think about changing it back to something else.
I know I changed my old nutrition over night and I know that I struggled a lot at first as Paleo was completely new and I by no means say you should switch to Paleo because again everybody is different. What worked for me to not fall out of it and to enjoy it was to think of how I could switch out my favourite foods how could I make a tiramisu healthy? How could I make my favourite pasta dish? Thinking of Pasta I started to switch wheat pasta out and used lentil pasta which is way more filling so I ate less. So I did this over all. When I wanted to eat fries I switched the potatoes out and went with sweet potatoe or zucchini or even carrots. Instead of eating a sugary cereal bar I went with my own bar, switched the sugar out with dates and added healthy nuts. It is not that difficult and once you have figured out how you can make your meals healthier you will actually enjoy it. Get more inspiration, try new foods. And by that you will figure out wether you are low carb or high carb or whatever. As I said I do not believe in diets. I believe in making your meals healthier and not missing out on anything but to enjoy it. I am just Paleo due to my many food intolerances and Paleo is what describes my eating style best.
#4 Take your time
Change isn`t happening over night. So take your time. Accept that there are good weeks and that there are bad weeks. Accept your body as a whole. Your hormonbalance plays a big role and if your metabolism is slowed down like in my case it might take longer but over all you will get there and like I said in point #1 Accept it. Accept your body and love it. You are beautiful no matter what. So enjoy your life and if this means not loosing as much weight as you wanted to in one week because you enjoyed a treat with a friend that is fine. That is life.
#5 Ditch your scale and measurements
I know some people say you should measure instead of using the scale and today I can actually use both but I don`t do it. I look in the mirror. What is measuring helping me? I have days where I am bloated and I have days where I am not bloated so one day I have 20 more cm around my belly than the other. So this is not helping me. In the mirror I immediately see that it is a weight gain or this is just bloated. I see if my muscle tone is gone or not. A number is not telling me much. So stick rather to progress pictures and that loose fitting jeans.
So these are all my tips on how I deal with my overweight and how I got to start loosing weight and maintain to loose weight. Which for me really isn`t as important as becoming healthy or being as healthy and happy as possible. I hope this can help you a bit and if you like this post please let me know and also what you would like to read in the future.
See you soon.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
The last huts should get build up. The day afterwards we would begin to paint them something that the children could do mainly while we, the adults would look after the interior of the huts. The local electricians and handyman volunteered to help build the bathrooms as well as the kitchen and other needed electricity.
Scott and I were working on a hut together, again.
“Where did you learn all that handyman stuff?”
“I grew up in a normal family it was usual that we did what we could on our own we didn`t call a handyman for everything.”
I knew it wasn`t meant as harsh as it sounded but it hurted me nevertheless and I became silent. I reached Scott the material to the rooftop and then asked one of the other man to take my place as I wasn`t able to lift the heavy pieces just yet.
I went over to the children and helped them by building the chairs for the common room. One of the small girls pulled on my shirt and I turned around.
“I” I said pointing at myself.”
“Come with me.” Where were the caretakers for the small ones. She was definitely not in the group of the kids that were old enough to help. She was way too small for that. How old was she? Maybe four or five years old?
“What is your name?” I asked her.
“Lexie, okay, I am Emma. Where shall I come with you?” Lexie took my hand and I went with her until we were standing in front of a pile with burnt things. Lexie pointed at something.
In the pile there was a pillow or better said what was left of it.
“Is that your pillow?” I asked her and she nodded with a sad look on her face. I think she knew she wouldn`t be able to use that ever again.
“Was that your cuddle pillow?” I wanted to know more detailed and again she nodded.
“My grandma made it,” her voice sounded even sadder than she looked. I assumed that she had lost her whole family and I knew how that feels. The only difference is that Lexie is too small to look after herself. I took the pillow out of the pile. It looked as if it had had the shape of a turtle.
“Shall we try to make you a turtle like this one again?”
Lexie nodded her head in joy and gave me a bear hug. I still didn`t knew how to do it but I would make her a pillow in the shape of a turtle. I ran over to Martha and asked where they had a fabric store. Martha looked at me confused.
“So Lexie,” I had to catch my breath somehow it touched it. Martha put her arms around me “It is fine. I know…” she tried to calm me down.
“The fabric store isn`t far from here. You can take Lexie with you if you want to. I will write down the way for you.”
That’s how I went away with Lexie without telling Scott about it.
Monday, March 21, 2016
Today I want to talk about overweight. Some of you may know some of you may not know it, I am overweight. I have struggled with my weight since I turned 12 years. It was a constant up and down sometimes I was in the normal range sometimes I was above it.
Today I have a different perspective on my body and my weight as I had when I was younger. It wasn`t an easy way to see things the way I see them now but it is so important.
So to help some of you to deal better with the struggle I am sharing my experiences and in todays post I am starting with the things that don`t help.
#1 "You are overweight"
Yes, I am and I know that. I do not have to be told that again and again. That is what I always told myself but I never actually told that to the people who told me I am overweight. The thing is, yes they are right and we know that ourselves, we do not need to hear that every time we meet. It is frustrating, as it is not as if we do not try. Getting this information won`t help, it just stresses us out more which leads me to...
#2 Stressing about your weight
It won`t help. You will always have days where you may have a kilo or two more and then a few days later you are back to normal. You weight gain can have many reasons. So it is important to check what may have caused it. In my case with Hashimotos the first thing I would check is if I have eaten something that can have caused trouble with my gut, make me bloat, make me store water. If I keep gaining weight I get my thyroid checked, but if I know one thing then it is that stressing about it won`t help you loose weight. Stress may actually lead to...
When you beat yourself up over and over again about not having lost enough or about having gained again. You are more likely to seek help in that chocolate bar or several or in a bag with fatty chips. So keep in mind stress won`t help you.
I personally can`t name a single diet that helped me and that I didn`t fall in and out off. So I completely stepped away from dieting. Plus it let me to point #2. It stressed me. Everytime I didn`t reached the goal or had a slow week I started to doubt it, got frustrated and fall out of it. Plus I obviously didn`t enjoy it.
Yes you can actually do that and I did that many times. I saw progress and then wanted more and wanted it fast and I decided to train harder to get one more workout in and then another. It was totally unbalanced and I usually lost the fun and joy in it. I fall out of it as I fell out of every diet as it made me hit a plateau in addition.
So these are the five main points that didn`t help me loose weight and that made me feel very unhappy with my body and uncomfortable in my body. These five points are also points I hear a lot from friends and family and I think once you know what stops you or slows you down you can work on figuring out what actually helps you. On my next post (after the usual Something Special for you - post) I will talk about the things that help me today to deal with my overweight.
I hope you enjoyed this post. Leave me a comment below if you have any more questions or suggestions and I see you soon.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Right before we went to bed the phone started to ring. It was Martha. She wanted to let us know that she wanted to take our help. Scott did immediately make a plan together with me that we would have to implement tomorrow. Finally we watched a movie before we went to bed together.
In the Morning we did grab a quick bite for breakfast and then went with Balu in the backseat to the hardware store. I did wait in the car with Balu while Scott went in to get a catalogue of the available garden houses. We didn`t need long to decide on which garden houses we wanted so Scott ordered them at the hardware store. Some of them they could deliver right away and some they would deliver during the early afternoon. After that we had bought the material to build benches and high sleepers for and with the children of the children`s home. Then we went to meet Martha at the children`s home plot where she was already waiting for us. She had mobilized the children, their caretakers and some other people to help.
“We have ordered four medium sized huts that will be delivered today if we do put two high sleeper in each of them we will have space for sixteen children, three huts will be delivered later the other days, the big hut will be delivered tomorrow. The toilets are going to be in extra huts beside the actual huts as outside toilets. They are going to be in small huts that will get delivered tomorrow. Showers will get build into one of the huts that will get delivered later but we will call a company to do that professional. The plan for today is to already build with the help of the children and the other people two of the huts. We would have to measure how we want to build it up of course.” I did explain my plan eagerly to Martha. Emma did explain it more visually.
“The big hut shall be built in the middle of the other huts and become the common room and the kitchen. Into the smaller huts, the children`s houses we would like to build desks and drawers. For the teenagers we would like to order three more huts later on so that they would only have to share the hut in pairs.”
Martha was crying tears of joy she hugged the both of us and thanked us. She introduced Emma and me and our plan to the children and helpers and everyone was happy and looking forward to get started to build their home.
While the children were getting the paint, in which the huts shall get painted in the end from the truck, the adults where measuring of where the huts stall stand. Once we were done measuring we were getting the materials for the huts where they were needed. We did split up equally and started with the building process while the smaller children were building the benches and playing with Balu.
Emma handed me the planks, nails and tools. We didn`t had to talk much and still everything went hand in hand. During the day more people came to help. That’s how the three huts were built in time when Martha and the children with their caretakers called for the barbecue. Annie had brought Salads, meat and sausages from the Diner so that everybody could charge up.
I knew what I had always missed in the City. Clannishness. The clannishness this small town had is nothing I would find in a big city. Everyone was helping. It was a community project. Those that couldn`t help by building up the huts helped by cleaning the plot or looking after the smaller children or by fueling us with food and drinks.
Everyone was excited by the idea and they all wanted to help. Once the sun started to set we started to pack together for the day. We covered the things that needed to be covered. Tomorrow would be another day of building.
We were so exhausted when we came home that Emma and I went straight to bed. Tomorrow would be another day of hard work.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
I recently talked about Depressions and thinks you or I do not want to hear when I have them. You will find this post here in case you want to catch up on that one first.
Today I do want to talk about the things that help me. Thinks I do that cheer me up and help me clear my head. With everything I mention now you have to keep in mind that it depends a lot on what is depressing me, what causes my depression so not everything works every day the same way.
Sometimes I am depressed because of nothing that actually has to do with me. I am depressed because I see how society changes and how people become more and more ignorant and agressive.
Sometimes I am depressed due to hormonal imbalances due to my Hashimoto`s.
Sometimes I am depressed because I do not function the same way I did before my Hashimotos. I can`t handle stress and I can`t manage the same work load as before. This throws me a lot of stones in my way. And people do not always understand as I look healthy.
Other times I am simply depressed for absolutely no reason I know.
Taking all this in consideration you may understand why there isn`t just that one thing that might help me or you.
First of all I have these days where I absolutely don`t want out of bed. Don`t want to see daylight. Those days are often a result of too much stress and I just feel I can`t. What I learned is to accept that. I learned that this is fine. There are days like this and I will get over it but most importantly it is fine. I usually stay in bed when I can. I open my blinds a bit to slowly introduce myself to the daylight and then gradually decide on how to start my day. Do I take a bath first or do I wake up and make my favourite breakfast which by the way are eggs in tomatoesauce with beans. Do I take my dog for a walk first. No matter what I ask myself what would I want to do if can`t stay in bed right now.
A walk alone in a quiet surrounding can often clear my head and by the middle of the day I already feel better.
Other days I am depressed due to our society as I said. I am depressed because people are in addition to my condition throwing stones in my way, due to ignorance and maybe because they don`t understand that they are doing that.
Those days, the things I mentioned above won`t help me at all. What helps me is to refocus. To set my focus on something else. The best thing to do so for me is by doing yoga. By taking a challenging sequence that forces me to focus on what I do, to focus on me. I know sometimes I am not in the mood for yoga but since I know it helps me in these situations and that I am in a much better mood afterwards makes me motivated enough to turn to my mat.
If my health is a bit of and I can`t do a challenging sequence I choose to meditate and sometimes I even take a crime novel and read it as it relieves a lot of the tension that has build up for me.
So these are the things that help me. I know they might not help everyone but maybe you want to try that out or it inspires you to try new way. Your own ways.
If you have found your way to deal with it and you want to share it feel free to do so in the comments below, maybe as a new inspiration for me as well.
Take care and see you soon.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Martha did explain me one of the photos. It was from a summer party where she was standing in the middle of ten kids who were all giving her a loving hug.
“I am like a mother to them. I know most of them from early on but most of them came to us when they were already older. Most of them are orphans. They need a home where then can feel save and supported, as well as loved. We gave our best to make them feel home. The children here are often unseen. We are in a small town and it doesn`t happen often that people come her to adopt a child. Most of them are staying with us until they graduate. They are here in save home, friends and the inhabitants of the town function as a family but now everything has burned down…and…and…we do not know how we shall keep going.”
Martha had teared up when she told us about the children`s home, her lifework. I got deeply touched and teared up as well. Scott seemed to fight his tears as well because he had gotten very quiet, very very quiet. He set beside me on the couch in silence without moving.
I took a deep breath to hide my tears and to stop my voice from shaking before I started to talk. “We would like to help to build it up again and that as soon as possible but we would need to see the children`s home first.”
“Oh dear” said Martha who still fought her tears “there is nothing to see. It burned down to the ground. Completely.”
Emma looked at me and I had to think for a while before I tried “Could we see the place to develop an idea?”
“We would really like to help” did Emma add.
Martha nodded “Okay, I will show you around.”
We drove to the children`s home or better said what was left of it. Martha was right except of some ashy wooden planks there was nothing left. She explained to us “The kids are sleeping in tents on the camping site for now. At the moment there is one permanent employee and two volunteering youth worker with them. We want to give them the feeling of a holiday camp as long as we do not know how the future looks like.”
Emma and I nodded. We took a careful look around. After walking around for a while we kept standing in one corner of the property. I turned towards Emma “What would you think if it would be like a camp all year round?”
“How do you mean that?” she asked me thoughtfully. She walked up and down and couldn`t stand still.
“I mean what would you think if we would build small wooden cabins in a circuit and in the middle a big one with a common room, a kitchen and a play room…” I did look at her asking and pretty convince from my idea.
I had to think of the flyer he had taken from the Diner. “You mean garden cabins?”
“Yes they would be bought and build up quickly and with time they could be upgraded but for now they would have a real roof over their head.” I had to think about it for a while before I nodded and said “Okay. That is how we will do it.” I turned around and walked back to Martha. Scott followed me. When we stood in front of Martha I pushed him forward. Scott understood the push and started to present his idea. Martha did listen cautiously before she asked her final question.
“And how do you want to finance that?”
“Oh don`t worry about that we will do that.” I said. Martha looked at me in disbelieve.
“No worries. We will pay for that.” I said one more time. Martha was still not able to believe what she just heard.
“Think about it until tomorrow you can reach us by phone” Scott gave her a card with his number “and if you decide to take our help we could start immediately. Maybe some of the older kids could help as well.”
Martha did agree and we went back to her house where she thanked us for today before we went back to hour cabin.
Friday, March 11, 2016
I woke up by the squeaky sound of the door. I looked into the bed beside me and saw that Emma was away. I crawled out of bed and when I took a look out of the window I could see her and Balu disappear in the woods.
I put on some jogging clothes and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. She would probably be hungry once she came back from her walk. I did warn her last night that she will be totally hungover today due to all that alcohol but she didn`t really care about that. Her comment on that was that she wanted to let it all hang out and she did it. At least for her. And she had so much fun that I didn`t want to stop her.
On our way back to the cabin she got really tired so that I had to carry her the last ten minutes as her feet were so sore and she nearly fell asleep while walking. Once we came home I had just put her to bed. She had pealed herself out of her jeans and bra before she had fallen asleep in her top and panties. I did took Balu outside before I went to sleep myself.
She entered the house with Balu right after I put the orange juice on the table.
“Good morning” I welcomed her.
“Not so loud” she said with her sunglasses on “don`t you have a headache?”
I was surprised. He looked as fresh and alive as usual while I just wanted to stay in bed with a pillow over my head.
“I did warn you” I just couldn`t hide my smile. She did just look up from the table but didn`t said a word. She moved her scrambled eggs from one site of the plate to another with her fork, completely lost in her thoughts.
I was really hoping that nothing had happened last night that I would regret. Scott seemed to have noticed what I was thinking.
“You know that you were so drunk last night that I had to carry you home the last ten minutes. You did barely manage to take your clothes off…” So that was the reason why hadn`t my pyjamas on. I had probably fallen asleep right after I had taken off my clothes. I exhaled relieved.
“You should really drink your orange juice it helps with the headache” he said pointing at his head. He made a small pause before he continued “fresh air helps as well. I want us to take a look at something later today.” He handed me the newspaper I brought in with me earlier. I read the article he had pointed out carefully after I had taken a shower and gotten ready for the day. Once Scott was ready we were headed out.
The children`s home of the town had burned down completely a few weeks ago. The children had to sleep in tents for now which we both thought wasn`t an option. We were on our way to find the responsible person for the children`s home that could tell us more about the situation so that we could work out a plan to get the children a real roof over their head again and that as soon as possible. First, we went to the Diner where Emma started to talk to the owner of our Cabin, Annie.
“We read about the children`s home today morning and we would like to help.”
“Then you better talk with Martha I will write you down her address.”
“Thank you. You know exactly what I wanted.” Annie smiled at me. She was such a lovely elderly lady surely the soul of the city. Scott has taken a flyer of the hardware store with him. Once we had Martha`s address we were on our way.
“What do you want with the hardware store flyer?”
“I have an idea.”
“Which is?” I was confused. Was he thinking that the problem would be solved with a bit of wood, some nails and a hammer?
“Let us first wait and see what we are facing and then I will fill you in.” That made sense.
Martha gave us a warm welcome. Annie had already called her and told her that we were on our way and so she had set the table with cookies, a cake and some coffee and tea.
“Come in. I am Martha.” The elderly woman introduced herself to us. I guessed she was in her early fifties. She had a kind face. Her house had a modern interior but still the atmosphere of a cottage. I immediately felt comfortable around her and in her house.
“That is Emma and I am Scott” I introduced us while Emma admired her interior. The whole house was full of photographs of children, trips and parties as well as everyday photos.
“Come in come in” said Martha and led our way into the living room. You could see all over the house that the children`s home wasn`t just her job it was her everything.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Something was sniffing at my ear. Then it was licking my cheek. It was Balu who woke me up. The light was way too bright and my head was hurting. I pulled myself out of bed, took on some pants and a shirt and left as quiet as possible the room. If Scotts head hurt nearly as much as mine he will be better off sleeping.
I went with Balu into the woods. The same route as yesterday. I love the earthy smell in the woods. I love how the sun dances between the trees and how Balu hunts their shadows. I couldn`t remember how the last night ended. This happened to me for the first time. I just hoped that nothing had happened between Scott and me but I don`t think it did I mean I was dressed when I woke up. On the other hand, I could have dressed myself afterwards couldn`t I? I mean I was never normal.
Once I thought about it, it was pretty unusual that I let Scott in. Let him get close. That I shared things that make us bound with him. I did went on dates earlier but mainly because the events expected me to bring a plus one. Sometimes I did even went home with them but never stayed overnight and I never gave them any personal information about myself. I always went after the fun part. I knew those guys. I knew that they would probably hurt me some day so it was better to not let it happen in the first place.
I was able to see the cabin between the trees. I would only be about ten more minutes. Ten minutes I had to think about what I would do if something had happened between Scott and me.