We woke up early. The trip today would take hours. We were both quiet. Not saying a word for most of the ride. I thought about what I had learned the past week. What I had learned about life. I wasn`t weak. At least not weaker than other people. It wasn`t a weakness to have feeling or to follow your dreams, it was courageous. I had learned that from Martha. For Martha every single child whether it was a toddler or a teenager, whether it was still in the children`s home or already grown up and in college, they were all her children. She loved them, gave them a warm home and supported them in everything they were doing. She comforted them when it was needed and she cheered them up when they were lacking motivation. Those children no matter what they have been through weren`t lonely after all. They weren`t as lonely as I had felt most of my life. Lexie, the little girl had shown me that I didn`t had to be lonely if I didn`t want to. It was true. I often choose to be for myself, not letting other people in but I hoped to find myself. I hoped to become as social as I had been the past week. All of the children and adults liked me for who I really I am not for who I am supposed to be. For me that had been the most beautiful moment of our first stop.
I wondered if Scott had a similar beautiful moment. I had focused so much on myself that I had forgotten him completely. Hopefully he wasn`t mad at me. He seemed lost in his thoughts. I would really like to know what he was thinking about, he hadn`t said a word the whole way.
“Is everything okay?” He looked surprised.
“Yes..yes, everything is fine. I just can`t decide on my favorite moment of the week.” He looked at me with a big question mark in his face.
“Which ones are you thinking off?”
“There are several, starting with you being excited like a child on the Fair, continuing with that I have never seen someone going from completely boring and shy to firework mode in just a second. The next moment would be the whole children`s home project…Oh and of course you standing half naked and sunburned in front of me”, having a big smile over his whole face mentioning the last moment.
“And why do you have to sort these moments after which one was the best? Can`t they just all be beautiful moments? I mean when you think me running with cotton candy and popcorn over the Fair is a beautiful moment it doesn`t change a thing about how beautiful the moment where we rebuilt a whole children`s home was.”
She looked at me expectantly. I didn`t had to think about her being right for a long time because I completely agreed with her. Immediately our mood had risen and we started another Karaoke session. This time we were rockin` it to Bruce Springsteen and U2. The people who were hearing us when we drove onto the Motels parking lot must have thought we were completely nuts.
I had taken Balu for a walk while she took a shower. `She needed to make herself extra beautiful and because of that she would need longer` she had told me. I didn`t exactly know what she wanted to make more beautiful because for me she was beautiful just the way she is but I would let her surprise me.
When I came back into the room she was standing there wearing bikerjeans with an oversized shirt that she had cut off at the bottom so that her abs was showing and a leather jacket.
I wasn`t sure if he was looking at me surprised or shocked. He had already changed while I was in the bath and so we could take off right away.
This time we wasn`t standing aside. We were right in the middle of it. She didn`t lie. She knew all the lyrics from beginning to end. The lyrics were good and for rock it was really melodic. Her energy was amazing, she was jumping up and down like a rubber ball. She danced and sang and as usual it was contagious. The joy she was feeling over the concert and that I had bought the tickets as a gift wasn`t something she could put into words but she could completely show it through her behavior and that was worth more than a `thank you` or `I am excited` for me.
The concert ended after two hours and we were walking back to the Motel. Balu greeted us joyfully and we took him for a little walk. Then we went to bed. The way to the National Park was a bit longer so we needed to rest. This night I didn`t sleep rolled up on my side of the bed. I had consciously laid myself into Scotts arm while we before we fell asleep talked about the last couple of days.