Sunday, May 29, 2016

Bikini Series Week 5

Hi everyone!

Here is week 5 (a bit late up, but scheduled for the right date).

This week I still struggled with the low energy I complained about last week. But we all know this is due to stress not to being sick. So as motivated as I was I crushed all my workouts. Went in strong, pushed myself harder.
Lost fears such as in holding a plank or doing a chaturanga.
I always had major fears when it came to poses and excercises that included being on my hands. I can`t tell why but it went that far that I wasn`t able to breathe. But breathing is important. While being in need on focusing on that over the whole past year I completely let go this week.
I focused on my form/ alignment instead and I saw how everything improved. So this was major progress this week.

I fell a bit behind on my study schedule this week as I went on a roadtrip to visit some family and friends during the weekend. Managed to still eat as clean as possible and enjoyed myself. I didn`t skip any workouts.

Overall this week was good and I was ready to form new goals for the next 3 weeks. Hopefully I will stick to them.

See you soon and take care.


Sunday, May 22, 2016

Bikini Series Week 4

Hi everyone!

I know I promised this way earlier and you may think "She is pretty bad in keeping us posted on her Bikini Series!".
I must admit I am. This is not because I do not want to keep you posted. This is mainly to other things that happen in life.
Friends and Family
Working out
Eating clean
going on Roadtrips
are the main reasons. Although studying is probably the one which takes most of my time.

Now lets talk about week 4.

Well I started week 4 with decreased energy levels. Feeling more tired than usual and just a bit off. But although I felt less energized I felt highly motivated and decided to no matter what do my workouts. If you want to know which workouts I did make sure to check out my Instagram (remember we are in the week from 16th May to 22nd May).
Although I stuck to my workouts and clean eating my energy wouldn`t come back. So that I on Thursday decided to give after one of my cravings and cooked up some pasta with tomatoe sauce.
Eventually due to all the studying, commuting back and forth from Uni I was also pretty bad in journaling and felt completely stressed out. But I may say that except of the cheat meal dinner on Thursday and Friday this week was clean eating and I stuck to all workouts even the Adam Rosante ones.

This week had teached me a lot.
By sunday I had realised that I somehow didn`t had less energy after all, but that I was tired of the things I am doing. I had fallen behind on my study schedule which stressed me out, I hadn`t seen the progress I wanted to see which stressed me out as well. I had thought of a cheat meal that had stressed me out.

All in all lets face it:

I was stressed.

With Hashimotos stress is something you want to avoid and I highly try to do that by being prepared and by always planning ahead but sometimes controlling your life too much can be stressful too.
So on Sunday I sat down and wrote down some of the negative things during the week and then tried to turn them into good things. I choose to only write down the good the things in the weekly reflection section of my TIU Journal. And the following sentences are what you find there now.

This week was tough!
I felt low energy although I was motivated.
I need to learn to except my bodys boundries while finding
a way to still make TIU work!
Maybe take a lighter routine or switch days according to how I feel.
I need to find what feels good for me,
now that I have formed a habit and made changes!

I must admit reading it now didn`t sound as positive as it felt the day I wrote it down but I still can see the positive for me.
The main point is to make Tone it up work for me, not for someone else, we all are different and we need to accept that and by saying that loud to myself and writing it down all the stress I felt was suddenly gone.

So lets see how week 5 went and stay tuned for new book chapters of Something Special (they will come soon I promise).


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 7

Hi everyone!

Week 3 is nearly over.

Took my measurements and progress pics right after I got out of bed.
Was down another kg. Which is good. Lost some inches. Improved my posture and ab definition (can we talk about definition  yet?)
My Bootycall was my loved freedom Flow from Yoga with Adriene. Completely turned my head of and turned into myself.

Breakfast was that Egg Scramble.
3 cookies for meal 3 to calm down my nerves.

Pm workout was the total body tone up from the Beach Babe 4 followed by Day 1 and 2 of the Beginner Yoga Challenge by Kino Yoga. Today on the plan that Downward Facing Dog and Plank Pose. Stayed in hand and knee plank and decided to work it up from there.

Dinner was the same as yesterday.
Watched some movies and went to bed late as Monday is a beautiful bank holiday.

See you for the from now on weekly update of Week 4 soon.


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 6

Hi everyone!

Day 6 of week 3.

Slept in a bit and then went up to get that Bootycall in. Which was the warm up from the 30 min Bootcamp from Adam Rosante followed by the 20min Total Body Workout.
Was a sweaty mess but felt great.
Had that yummy egg scramble for breakfast, two Cookies for meal 3 to calm down my nerves.

I then did my pm workout which was Day 1 of the 30 Day Beginner Challenge by Kino Yoga.
First Pose was Downward Facing Dog which is essential but showed me that I really have to work on shoulder strength.
I followed that up with 1 Hour Total Body Weightloss Yoga from Yoga with Adriene. Where I noticed that my Downward Facing Dog had become a lot better.

Dinner was made before the Eurovision Songcontest (yes watched that with some of my Tone it up sisters, although I was more staring at Måns Zelmerlöw than the actual show)
I made some Tumeric Rice with Salad and a Fish Patty.

Snacks for the night were a small bowl full of paprika peanuts.

Great Day.

See you on Day 7.


Friday, May 13, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 5

Hi everyone!

It is day 5 of week 3 and I am feeling fine.

Started my day with the Bikini Body workout from the Beach Babe 4 and I can finally see improvement in some moves.
Followed it with day 30 of Yoga Camp. Today I could choose my own mantra which was I choose.
It was amazing to follow my body to find out what I needed and exactly do that. My first own Yoga Routine....

Breakfast was Fruit Salad with yoghurt and honey topped with Chia Seeds.
Had a Cookie for M2 and a chocolate Cornflakes Banane Yoghurt for M3.

My pm workout was a 40min Fatburning Yoga Routine from Yoga with Adriene.

Finished my day with Black Bean Soup for Dinner and two Episodes of Law and Order SVU.
Still feeling fine and energized.

See you for day 6.


Thursday, May 12, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 4

Hi everyone! 
I hope you all are doing fine.

So this is up late again...way too late to be honest. No need to explain the Why now. For next week I will give you a weekly update so that I can get back to my book posts as well.

We have day 4 of week 3 and I started my day with Yoga Camp Day 29 with the beautiful mantra I Love.
It made such a difference starting my day this way.

For breakfast I had an Egg Scramble als usual.
Drove to Uni enjoyed my norwegian class and then came back home to some leftover Pasta with tomatoe sauce.

My pm workout was Beach Booty and Cardio Abs from the Beach Babe 4 DVD. Still having a Love hate relationship with Cardio Abs.

Had my favorite soup (black bean soup) for Dinner and then started to watch a new swedish mysterythriller series called Jordskott. 

It was all in all a good day.

See you for Day 5.

💞 Nadja

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 3

Hi everyone!

It is day 3 of week 3!
I woke up motivated for my workout and not so motivated for uni as I knew this exam in finnish literature was waiting for me.
I could sleep a bit longer today which was great so I went up at 7:20pm and started my BC with Yoga Camp Day 27 I am grateful. Which was an amazing mantra to start the day with.
I followed it up with gentle morning yoga, which I just love to stretch and warm up the body for the day.

Enjoyed my usual egg scramble and then took off to Uni. Repeating on my whole drive what I had learned.
Had a great exam and a great time at uni.
Once I came back home I enjoyed some pineapple with some blueberries. Topped it with a bit of greek yoghurt, honey and chia seeds.
I used the time to relax a bit before I studied for another 1 1/2 hour. Began to give my brain a break by watching Hart of Dixie before I went on to my PMWO.

I did the Carribean Kettlebell Workout from the Beach Babe 3 instead of the Kettle Flow from the Beach Babe 4 which I didn`t enjoyed that much (don`t like mixing yoga with anything else). I love the Carribean Kettlebell routine, especially the full turkish getups. Everything is just on fire.
I stretched it out with the stretch and release routine from the Beach Babe 3 which is amazing for stretching after a tough workout.

I relaxed the rest of the day by making some pasta with tomatoe sauce and watching two new episodes of Greys Anatomy (well at least new in Germany).

With my Bikini Punch prepared and my workout clothes  laid out I was ready to go to bed without having to worry about how my next morning will look like.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 2

Hi everyone!

Same as with the last two posts, up late due to life happening.

So Day 2 of week 3.

Woke up 5:50am and started my day with Energizing Morning Sequence/Yoga. I was sweating soo much I didn`t think I could top that, but wait and see.

I had an egg scramble with mushrooms, tomatoes, sweet corn and feta cheese with a slice of gluten free bread for breakfast, before I went to uni.
Drank up my whole bottle of the bikini punch (the heat was killing me).

Once I came back home I had a bit of that trail mix from the day before and then sat down to study for the upcoming exam. I saved some time to relax before my PMWO (well or to watch Hart of Dixie, I am addicted I admit it).
I started with HiiT me up which is a great routine. I still struggle with some moves but I just modify them to my levels.
After the HiiT routine I did not as shown in the collage Day 27 of Yoga Camp, but I did Day 28 with the mantra I celebrate.
I do not know what happened but I accidently mixed the days up and was already one day ahead and trust me I didn`t notice that until Wednesday after I did day 26.
Well back to the routine I did. I celebrate. It was energizing. It got the juiced flowing and by the end of it I was dripping. The sweat was just running down my skin but I felt great. I felt amazing. I was proud that I had pushed through. I was proud about my progress. Both mentally and physically.

And with that in mind I enjoyed the rest of the evening (with the same dinner as yesterday) and then went to bed.


Monday, May 9, 2016

Bikini Series Week 3 Day 1

Hi everyone!

Another post I am writing later than scheduled. If you want to know why check out my previous Bikini Series post.

Today I woke up a bit unmotivated but I got up to do my Bootycall anyways. Which was Travel Yoga - Revitalizing flow. It was a quick routine, I wasn`t too sweaty.

I got ready and then went downstairs to make my Peanut Butter Cocoa Banana Smoothie Bowl. I topped it with chocolate shavings, quinoa pops, chia seeds and banana. It was way to much for me to eat all of it.
I had made my Bikini Punch the evening before so I just had to pick it up and take it with me to Uni. Got some pretty stupid comments and looks on it ("Is it Sangria?"- sure I like to drink alcohol in uni! Of course not!). On the other hand some people really liked the idea and I didn`t care that much on people commenting on my stuff so...who cares I love it.
Came back home had a trail mix with Cranberries, Almonds, Cashews and Peanuts. I kept studying as usual until Hart of Dixie started, watched my episode to relax (it is all about balance right) and then I went upstairs to do my PMWO.
Which was Rock your Body. God I love the barre moves for the booty and thighs. Challenging but so amazing. I finished it off with Yoga Camp Day 26. I attract. Such a challenging practice (at least I found it challenging) but I loved it.

My dinner was the same as yesterday, pasta and beans and sausage with too much Sambal Olek.

I felt great the whole day although I was struggeling with allergies due to the warm weather and the intense sun.

I was much looking forward to the next day before I went to bed. Set my alarm to 5:50 with a new theme, my BC.

If you like to see my updated on time make sure to follow me on IG.


Something Special for you! Chapter 52

Once we went to sleep I noticed how Emma was turning from side to side over and over again. From left to right, then onto her back. I watched it a bit amused for a while and I was sure that there would come something.

It was my first time camping. It had been my idea although I was sure that I wouldn`t survive it.

"Are there any bears out there?" I asked.

I had to pull myself together to not burst out in loud laughter although I was sure she was able to hear it in my voice, "I am sure and I promise you that there are no bears out there."

Then it had to be Balu that I heared breathing. But I still wasn`t able to sleep. Turned from left to right and from right to left. It was just so incredible cold. I was freezing and shaking. Never did I think that it could get so cold during the night, maybe I should have packed my wintercoat. Or maybe I just needed to get used to it. I probably wouldn`t be as scared as I am if my parents would have let  me into the summer camp I wanted to go to when I was younger. But someone like me wasn`t made for such a camp as my father used to say. Someone like me, what did that actually mean? I was a child just like every other child. Why wasn`t I allowed to find out what I was made for? If I wouldn`t have gotten this possibility right now, then I would have never find out what I am capable off once I focused on what I really wanted to do.
I didn`t want to blame my parents for holding me small, my parents did had a plan for me. Every time I could I fought against this plan. But it had been a plan my parents had made for me not a plan that I had made for myself. And after all I am an individual and independent person not a puppet that you could just manipulate into the direction you want it to go.

I was still not able to sleep. Was freezing and shaking all over. Turned from left to right. Even thinking of something else didn`t help. It was and is just cold and the longer I was laying there the colder it got.

By now I had noticed that she was shaking. I opened my sleeping bag.

Does he want to give me his sleeping bag? He must be freezing himself I thought.

"Come over," he said. I looked at him sceptical, pulling my forehead into wrinkles. What was his plan? Shall I go into his sleeping bag? I was confused, "Shall I get into your sleeping bag? With you?" I asked him. I couldn`t believe it. Did he really think, that I would sleep with him in his sleeping bag? - Obviously as he was nodding his head. Somehow this made me angry in this moment and my face was obviously not hiding my anger.

"Bodywarmth is the best warmth. It would be even better if we were naked, if you want to survive this trip," he smiled at me provocative.

I knew that she was mad at me. She would either take it with humour or she would explode in anger. The way I got to know her she would take it with humour. I had tried to provoke her several times but she obvioulsy couldn`t get mad at me.

"Okay, but I am not going to take my clothes off," she said and crawled over into my sleeping bag

He had been right it was really a lot warmer. I snuggled myself up against him now that I had the possibility to not do it in an obvious way.. I fell asleep pretty fast.

I noticed that she was smiling in her sleep as usual. I wraped my arm around her and then fell asleep myself.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 7

Hi everyone!

So I am sorry this is up so late. With an exam upcoming (by the time I am writing this already written) a presentation to prepare, a book to read for hungarian literature, two books to read for norwegian, some sad news (hopefully not as sad as it sounds) in the family, simply too busy to sit down and write this post on time.

But now I am here. With a reflection on week 2 and a reflection on how day 7 of week 2 went.

So as I usual first thing I do when I get up is to step on that scale. Not much of a change (lets be honest nearly no change at all). So I was a bit disappointed but went on to take my transformation photos and to measure myself. The measurements told me I had lost some inches which made me hopeful I am on the right way. Once I compared my photos to each other I could also see what my measurements were telling me. Changes/Progress on my thighs and my booty.

Once all the reflective work was done I went on with my Bootycall. Which was Yoga for weightloss - Strengthen and Lengthen. It is a great practice but at the moment still very challenging for me, but I am hopeful I will build up to it again and be able to enjoy it even more than I did on that morning.
I followed that up with the Olivia Wilde Six Pack Ab routine (2rounds) from XhitDaily  instead of the toned abs routine from the Beach Babe DVD 4 as my planks are still not strong enough for that. So I rather decided to work my abs on my back. The workout I did is really great for the lower abs and for the level my lower abs are at now it is challenging but doable.

Breakfast was an egg scramble with Mushrooms, Sweet Corn, Tomatoes and Feta. Aside a slice of gluten free bread with some butter (you only live once so some treats need to be there, plus avocados were just to expansive at the store at the moment).
I skipped Meal 2 and had a slice of healthy Strawberry Cake (gluten and refined sugar free) for my Meal 3. 

I studied a lot that day and spent a lot of time outside with my dog (which you can see in the collage).

My PM Workout was Yoga Camp day 25. I am strong.

The mantra lets me think of reflecting on week 2. I have been strong. I have gone in stronger. I have pushed harder. I never missed a bootycall. My mind developes a willpower I haven`t seen the past months. I over all feel great. But I also feel that I can and that I want to push even harder.

For Dinner I had Quinoa with beans and sausages and way too much Sambal Olek but I loved it.

If you do not always want to wait for a detailed post, but want to see what I am daily doing make sure to follow me on instagram.

I hope to find more time during the days in the next week (which then is week 4) so that the posts will be up again on the day I am actually at but I can`t promise that. Living and University comes first.


Saturday, May 7, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 6

Hi everyone!

I hope you are all well!

I started today with the Detox Flow instead of the Cardio Flow (as I said early I don`t like mixing real cardio like mountain climbers or jumping jacks with yoga, so I instead choose a yoga practice that got my heart rate up and me sweating). I was a real sweaty Betty afterwards. I mean dripping in sweat.

For breakfast I switched up that egg scramble and added sweet corn instead of spinach. Which was a yummy variation as well.
I studied again for the next 4 hours, before I went some grocery shopping to make some orange and yoghurt popsicles.
Then I continued studying for another 2 hours before I went to do my PMWO.
Which started with Toned Arms from the Beach Babe 4 which I really like. To fire these arms and shoulders up even more I followed it up with Beach Arms from the Beach Babe 3 which I also really love. 
I then mixed up the same Dinner that I had the last two days again as I had leftover beans and a lot of leftover beans and it is a really filling dish that keeps me full for a very long time, plus it is really easy and quick to make.

Now watching a quiz show before going to bed.
Looking forward to taking my measurements and progress pictures tomorrow. Already layed out my workout clothes for that Bootycall and I already started to reflect my week.


Friday, May 6, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 5

Hi everyone!

I hope you are all feeling well.

It is day 5 of week 2. As Friday is always my free day I slept in. And as this Friday was a really really warm day I decided to squeeze all my Workouts in in the morning.
So I started with the Booty Workout which was a real challenge. I usually don`t struggle during booty workouts but this one got me. Maybe as I was still a bit sore from the last two days or maybe because I wasn`t really as wide awake as I was telling myself.
Afterwards I did the K&K Slay which is a great Hiit Workout although I am still struggeling with some moves like the fallen triangles or mountain clibers or jump lunges (plyo lunges) but I will get there.
Finished it with Yoga Camp Day 23 which had the great mantra I am secure. No need to say anything more to that mantra I think.

Complete sweaty betty took the dog for a quick walk afterwards, still cooling it down before preparing breakfast (nearly lunch time) which was again that amazing egg scramble from yesterday.

Spend the rest of the day studying. Partly outside in the sun until I had to go back into the house because of allergies.
Relaxed the rest of the day watching my favourite series.
Dinner was the same as yesterday.
All in all a really boring but relaxing day.


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 4

Hi everyone!

I hope you are all fine.
I slept in today as it was a free day.
Then I took the dog for a little walk before I turned to my Yoga mat for my TIU Bootycall. Day 22 of Yoga Camp with the beautiful mantra I surround myself with...
For today I am not completing this sentence. I managed to completely turn into my inner body and enjoy this practice and focus on that mantra. Great way to start the day.

Breakfast was a spinach-mushroom-tomatoe-feta egg scramble with a slice of GF bread and shame on me butter (need my energy).

I used the day to read 5 Chapters in one of the books I have to read for my Norwegian class as well as two chapters in the second back we are reading at the moment.
I watched a movie in between and helped my mom making a strawberry cake while I for myself prepared strawberries with coconut yoghurt and honey (keeping it clean).

PMWO was again pretty late due to the weather.
I did the Upper Body Total toner (which I am loving. Loooving. I mean it.) and followed it up with Cardio Abs (still struggeling with that one).

After that I prepared my dinner which was a Bean Pasta stir fry. More beans than pasta of course. I made two portions so no cooking on friday. 
Now on to the funny part. I mistakenly mixed up the tomatoe paste with sambal olek. Instead of taking 1/4 tsp of sambal olek I took a whole and instead of 1 tbsp of the tomatoe paste I just took 1/4 tsp. A bit spicy yes. but that is how it goes sometimes.

Watched a great movie or actually one of my favourite movies The last song. I love the story line (not just Liam Hemsworth) it always makes me cry. Like not just tear up but deeply cry. There is no other movie that keeps making me cry even after watching it for the 10th time. This movie I know exactly when I latest start to cry. Not so great right before going to bed but I just love it. And I slept well after all.


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 3

Hi everyone!

I hope you are all doing fine.
As University, working out, eating healthy, plus having a social life with friends, family and my dog are keeping me busy, I took notes througout the week so that I am able to still keep you up to date an my Bikini Series experience and lifestyle.

So it is Day 3 of Week 2. I went up at 7:30 putting on my workout clothes starting with Rock Your Body with slightly heavier weights. Still not heavy for normal people though but for my shoulder and weak left arm it is okay. I love the barre moves in this workout. They burn so good. They are tough in my legs which for me are the body parts I hated the most on my body. For yours I had tried to slim them up without any success and finally I can se progress. 

I followed that up with Yoga Camp Day 21. I had the beautiful mantra I believe which I really needed that morning. I had a presentation at University later on and was super nervous. Not believing in myself. Thinking I wasn`t good enough.
So with this mantra I changed my mindset for the day completely.

I believe in myself.
I believe I can make it through the day.
I believe I can finish this yoga practice.
I believe I can finish yoga camp.
I believe I will push through my PMWO.
I believe...

As it was already really warm compared to the other days I was a complete sweaty Betty after my workouts, so I took a quick shower (still trying a new Shampoo, so hopefully I can give you a review on that soon) and then went downstairs to eat my usual breakfast (I really need to switch it up for the rest of the week). I was lucky having a mom preparing me my TIU lunchbox with some fruitsalad (pineapple and apple) and a trailmix with some kale chips.
I had a great presentation and went back home being in a really good mood (the sun does that to me). 
On my way home I stopped by a store to do some grocery shopping for my mom and found some good offers on mushrooms and cherry tomatoes as well as strawberries so I went with it (sometimes you just need a treat that is not on your list right?).

Back home I read what I had scheduled for that day. Watched an episode of Hart of Dixie and then went upstairs for my PMWO around 6:15pm so it had already cooled down a bit. Plus I was really scared of that Buddy Workout I had scheduled with some other TIU girls.

So my PMWO started with a 20-Minute Total Body Workout from Adam Rosante (if you don`t know his workouts check them out). He always makes me feel so great during my workouts although I feel as if I have to give up at any second I am always pushing through. I just enjoy these workouts and this time I was sure I will feel the burn for the rest of the day. So great for the whole body and I really love those Butterfly situps.
I followed it up with Street Yoga to make sure I am stretched and to hopefully prevent me from getting too sore.

I then ate a portion of my Broccoli-Pea-White Bean soup and somehow and I don`t know why I reacted to it. I had a skin reaction which was itching and very very painful. So this soup is off the list for now. I do not know if my body has to deal too much with allergies at the moment so that it is oversensitive to certain things, but I documented it and will have a look on it.

Cooked myself that same pasta and egg dish as the night before, because I couldn`t eat up that soup due to the reaction.

I then watched two new episodes of Greys Anatomy and went to bed.


Something Special for you! Chapter 51

We had been walking now for almost six hours. Emma had done great, she had stopped sometimes to relax her back from the backpack and to drink something, but I had expected her to complain a lot more.
I had used those breaks to take some photographs, first from the fields, the trees, the flowers and the mountain in the background, as well as of the sky. Then from Emma how she was stretching her back. How she showed me her tongue while pressing her hands into her hips.

After almost ten hours we had arrived at the mountain lake. We built our tent by the lake. I was lucky that Scott knew how to build up a tent otherwise I would have had to sleep in a very unstabil tent. I saw how Balu was drinking by the lake and then I saw the look on Scotts face.

"No no no no" I said while taking my shorts off, as I knew that I would end up in that lake in the next minute. Before I was able to take my shirt off Scott had already taken me and brought and thrown me into the lake. I wanted back on the land because the water was freaking cold but he pulled me back in. It was one of the moments where I could have killed him, but I regret those thoughts most times once I noticed how much fun I actually had.
We fought in the water, swam, floated on our back looking at the sky.
I didn`t know how long we had been in the water but I was freezing so I swam back to the land. Once Scott noticed that he came after me ran out of the water and got me a towel.

 I wrapped her into a towel completely. She was really freezing, shaking all over. Then I took a towel myself. I lighted the fire on the fireplace in front of our tent. We cuddled up in front of the fireplace. Warmed ourselves up. Enjoying the silence. We could hear the birds sing. The wind in the trees. How the branches cracked. I could

I could hear my breath. Scotts breath. Balus breath.
Nature had so much to give. Life had so much to give and I had nearly missed out on all of that. Living a life where time just flew by. A life in which time is money. A life in which society and the people around you create your lifestyle. A lifestyle in the city. You can still live on the countyside when you are old. At an age where I would probably be too old to go on hikes and camping trips.
The city that was never silent. Where there always is a car or a machine disturbing the natural sounds. The city, where they sky is always greyish from the smog. The city where I never wanted to live in again. I was sure about that by now.

I didn`t had made a mistake by moving into the small suburb by the ocean. When I had taken a time out to find myself. Even though it had become clear to me that I had never lost myself.

Suddenly I stood up went to my backpack and picked not only the snacks up but also a file. I handed it to Scott who was looking at me wondering what that was.

"That is the report of the accident" I explained. I didn`t want to tell him myself anything about it as it would simply be a repetition of the report. Except of the blinding light, the sound of a nearing truck and a loud bang I didn`t remember a thing. 

I read it while we were eating. It didn`t had much information, but the information included were enough to understand her reaction. Her families car had crashed frontally with a truck. There were no obvious reasons for that. Her parents had died on the scene. The officer who had written the report did think her father had driven into the truck on purpose as there had been no braking marks. No other proof had been found as there had been no victims except of Emma who couldn`t remember a thing. I saw the pictures of the wreck and did wonder how she made it out of it alive.

"You really don`t remember a thing from that night?" I asked carefully. She thought about it for a bit before she nodded her head and added, " I remember bright light, the sound of a truck passing by and then a loud bang."

"Do you want to remember that night?" I wanted to bite my tongue, but she wouldn`t have given me the report if she wouldn`t have been ready to talk about it. She stayed quiet. I could see how she was thinking about the question.

"Well for the first time in my life I am happy. Here with you. I am free. I can be who and how I am. I don`t think that remembering that moment could make it any better."

I nodded. Understanding. I wrapped my arm around her. We were done talking about it. On the one hand because I could see how difficult it was for her and on the other hand because I understood her. Understood that the memory wouldn`t have helped. Especially not after I had read it. I had known before that her parents had had high expectations. But when the officer had been right she had also live with the thought that her father had been willing to not only kill himself but also her mother and her.

There had been something else I had noticed while reading the report. The family name. It sounded familiar. Right now I couldn`t say where I knew the name from but I was sure I knew that name. I had heared her saying it but it didn`t sound familiar until I had read her fathers first name. Maybe I would remember it some time.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 2

Hi everyone!

I hope you are all fine.

Still on the search on what works for me fitness wise today went a little bit different as you may have expected.
Scheduled was Cardio and Kettleflow and as I do Yoga Camp right now Yoga Camp day 20. Which had a great mantra to start the day with.
I am worthy
So this was a beautiful bootycall. Such a great practice and it made me realise just as I realised the day before that I was missing some foods that I was missing my Yoga. Last year I had done soooo much more yoga and I had gotten so strong. So with that in mind I went and got my breakfast (the usual Quinoa Porridge) before I took off to university.
I enjoyed my 1 hour in the car alone. I love this alone time where you can just listen to music and turn to yourself.
Class was a bit boring but I never liked literature or art from the romantic time/style (what do you call it in english?). So for me it was challenging to keep listening and to take notes for that exam in July.

Once I got back home I said down reading an article for my presentation (end of May) and taking notes. I fixed the handouts for my presentation for tomorrow and added some notes on my papers.
Then I went upstairs for the kettle flow. I pushed through it strong but really came to realise that I don`t like mixing up yoga with anything else. So because I disliked the routine I just didn`t or better say I didn`t enjoy this workout I didn`t went all in and as realised earlier that day I missed my yoga. So I went with my favourite flow which is the freedom flow. I loved it. It was hard doing it for the first time again after 6 months but I just love it. I can turn my mind totally off and let go.

Afterwards I warmed up my loved black bean soup and ate a slice of gluten free bread with it to not end up with the same problem as the night before.

About 3 hours later I made myself a tiny portion of spelt pasta and fried it in the pan with 2 eggs that I had whisked up with a tiny bit of almond milk. Seasoned it with cayenne pepper, black pepper, salt and some strong paprika. I love it as simple as it is but it is quick and fills me up.

I then took some time to relax before I went to bed, with my bag packed for the next day and workout clothes laid out for that bootycall.


Monday, May 2, 2016

Bikini Series Week 2 Day 1

Hi everyone!

Sorry for this going up so late.
There were so many things I had to reflect on and think about.
If you have read my previous post on the Bikini Series you know that I w.asn`t too happy with my results. And when I stepped on the scale on this day, the first day of week 2 I actually got a shock.
I had gained. Not much but I had gained. I didn`t understand why. I had been eating clean. I had worked out and I am nowhere near a weight where I gain and not loose. So this was not acceptable for me.
I walked on the scale several times but the result was the same. I had gained.
As disappointed as I was I went to do my Bootycall to get my head free and I chose to do Yoga first.
It was Day 19 of Yoga Camp and the mantra was I respect. Although my brain was working strong with what just had happened on the scale I got it managed to focus on my yoga and really enjoyed it.

I had the usual Quinoa Porridge for breakfast and then went to Uni.
Still wondering what had happened on that scale.

Once I was back from Uni I read the articles I had scheduled for Monday while eating my fruit salad (banana, apple and pineapple) and then went up for my pm Workout which was Hiit Me Up and Toned arms from the Beach Babe 4. I am wondering wether to write or not to write a review on the new DVD once I have tried all of the workouts.
So far I can see I loved Hiit Me Up, definetly one of my favourite Tone it up Hiit routines.
I went with a slightly heavier weight for my arm workout. I don`t use heavy weights. As some of you my know I struggle a bit with my shoulders and neck. I easily feel a strong pain and a restriction in movement if I overdo it. So I am going with light weights. I increased it slightly by 0,5kg more per weight and it is great. Once I get used to it I will just repeat the arm routine and do two rounds of it.

While I did my workout I had already put up that red lentil soup on the stove so that I was able to eat and get some protein right after my workout.
It was very yummy but only 30 minutes after I had eaten I got that strange feeling in my throat, which tells me something has had too much acid. For this soup I think I should have eaten it together with some slices of bread to neutralize the acid of the tomatoes which are in the soup but you learn from your mistakes.
I felt quite full but when my mom came into the living room with her pasta dish on the plate I instantly felt a craving for pasta.
I usually don`t have cravings. I am pretty good at eating clean and  never felt that I was missing out on something. I mean it. I was able to sit beside my ice cream eating mom without even thinking of wanting something. So I knew something was wrong. Why would I feel a craving when I am completely full.
So I reflected.
I reflected what had happened the last week.
I reflected what happened that morning on the scale and I reflected last years bikini series.
Compared to last year I hadn`t eaten much. All my foods were really low carb (which they were last year too, but not as low as during the last week), my calories were for sure a lot less. So I had my answer. I took a small plate and filled it with some pasta which I was craving and ate it. I know it wasn`t gluten free and first I felt guilty but then I said to myself "Your body was asking for it so it probably needed it". It was just a tiny portion but I instantly felt better.

So this day had learned me, my body needs fuel. It can`t burn fat if it is not fueled well enough. You can go strong through those workouts if you lack your fuel. So I decided to go with what my body asks for from now on, which doesn`t necessarily means I am eating more or that I am not eating clean. I just listen to my body and find what feels good, which is exactly what you will be seeing on the upcoming days and weeks because that is how it is with chronic diseases and also without. We got to listen to our bodies.

I went to bed early, with my workout clothes laid out so that I was ready to go strong for that bootycall the other day.


Sunday, May 1, 2016

Bikini Series Day 7

Hi everyone!

It is Day 7 of the Bikini Series which means I made it through week one!!!

I am really proud of myself I must admit. As self critical and impatient as I am I of course complained today morning about not seeing any progress but once I set my Week 0 pictures beside my Week 1 pictures I was impressed about the progress I made. (You can find the pictures on my Instagram account).
I am definetly taking it up a notch next week (highly motivated over here).

Lets talk about today.

I woke up at 8:30am took the dog for a quick walk and then did my Tone it up bootycall which was the Bikini Body routine from the Beach Babe DVD 4 and Yoga Camp Day 18. The mantra was I surrender (not saying anything to that today).
I loved the Bikini Body workout and want to go for two rounds the next time or pair it up with something else.

My breakfast today was spelt bread (I tolerate spelt, whereas wheat and other corn are causing my stomach and skin to react) with one egg. (Lets call it a Sunday Breakfast).

I then relaxed a bit watching Step Up and Step up to the Streets (I love Dance movies).

I had to work on my presentation on Minna Canths book (Agnes) for my Finnish literature course which I did after the movies.
I then went for another walk with my dog before doing my PMWO which was Legs for Days which is also from the BB4 I should have definetly gone for two rounds and I will do so next time.
Followed up with a warm bath and a fruit salad afterwards.

Now watching The Biggest Looser (my motivation) while warming up my Dinner which is the same as yesterday (Chinese Veggies with rice and italian sausage).

Going to watch a Crime movie later and then I will go to bed early.

My workout clothes are laid out. Just have to plan my workouts for next week, unless for Wednesday as I have already planned a buddy Workout with some TIU ladies. We will be doing a Total Body workout by Adam Rosante which is a killer workout.

All in all I am happy with my week one and will keep it going.
I am definetly seeing changes in how I look and how I feel. My mindset has changed and I am looking forward to my workouts and meals.
I love how my week has gotten a routine. I am sleeping a lot better and I am able to fall asleep early and get up early without any problems.
My skin looks better and I am overall happier.
I had a great start into the challenge.

Lets see what week two brings.