Monday, May 9, 2016

Something Special for you! Chapter 52

Once we went to sleep I noticed how Emma was turning from side to side over and over again. From left to right, then onto her back. I watched it a bit amused for a while and I was sure that there would come something.

It was my first time camping. It had been my idea although I was sure that I wouldn`t survive it.

"Are there any bears out there?" I asked.

I had to pull myself together to not burst out in loud laughter although I was sure she was able to hear it in my voice, "I am sure and I promise you that there are no bears out there."

Then it had to be Balu that I heared breathing. But I still wasn`t able to sleep. Turned from left to right and from right to left. It was just so incredible cold. I was freezing and shaking. Never did I think that it could get so cold during the night, maybe I should have packed my wintercoat. Or maybe I just needed to get used to it. I probably wouldn`t be as scared as I am if my parents would have let  me into the summer camp I wanted to go to when I was younger. But someone like me wasn`t made for such a camp as my father used to say. Someone like me, what did that actually mean? I was a child just like every other child. Why wasn`t I allowed to find out what I was made for? If I wouldn`t have gotten this possibility right now, then I would have never find out what I am capable off once I focused on what I really wanted to do.
I didn`t want to blame my parents for holding me small, my parents did had a plan for me. Every time I could I fought against this plan. But it had been a plan my parents had made for me not a plan that I had made for myself. And after all I am an individual and independent person not a puppet that you could just manipulate into the direction you want it to go.

I was still not able to sleep. Was freezing and shaking all over. Turned from left to right. Even thinking of something else didn`t help. It was and is just cold and the longer I was laying there the colder it got.

By now I had noticed that she was shaking. I opened my sleeping bag.

Does he want to give me his sleeping bag? He must be freezing himself I thought.

"Come over," he said. I looked at him sceptical, pulling my forehead into wrinkles. What was his plan? Shall I go into his sleeping bag? I was confused, "Shall I get into your sleeping bag? With you?" I asked him. I couldn`t believe it. Did he really think, that I would sleep with him in his sleeping bag? - Obviously as he was nodding his head. Somehow this made me angry in this moment and my face was obviously not hiding my anger.

"Bodywarmth is the best warmth. It would be even better if we were naked, if you want to survive this trip," he smiled at me provocative.

I knew that she was mad at me. She would either take it with humour or she would explode in anger. The way I got to know her she would take it with humour. I had tried to provoke her several times but she obvioulsy couldn`t get mad at me.

"Okay, but I am not going to take my clothes off," she said and crawled over into my sleeping bag

He had been right it was really a lot warmer. I snuggled myself up against him now that I had the possibility to not do it in an obvious way.. I fell asleep pretty fast.

I noticed that she was smiling in her sleep as usual. I wraped my arm around her and then fell asleep myself.

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