Monday, July 18, 2016

Something Special for you! Chapter 53

I did survive the campingtrip. It was less horrible than I had expected it to be. I didn`t got eaten up by a bear nor did I freeze to death. The complete opposite, I did have fun. The last two days were just about finding freedom. I did make peace with myself and with my past. I felt a lot lighter than before. This was a new start. So far I have reached every goal I have set myself. Some things had been a real challenge and I needed Scotts help and he had been there all the way, encouraging me instead of telling me I can`t do it.

I trusted him and I did let him in like I had never done it before. I finally noticed what this meant but I still tried to push it as far away as possible. The risk of throwing this beautiful friendship away was too high.

I decided to rather focus on my sore legs and feet. For the way back home we had taken another route which instead of the 10 hours to the lake took us 13 hours back to the house.

We had just thrown all our equipment onto the truck once we reached the house. We would unpack and clean it tomorrow. Today the only thing I would do is give my feet a warm bath and then rest.

I wanted to be a little bit on my own. I had excused myself with the fact that I wanted to cook us some dinner which I also did. I really needed some distance. The more time we spent together the more certain I became why Emma was special and what Alf had seen when I talked about her. But I didn`t want to give into these thoughts. Our friendship had grown so much. She had finally started to open up and I didn`t want to risk ruining that. So I tried to push it away, but it only worked when I distanced myself from her. And she exactly knew when I needed my distance and accepted it. And there it was again. The thing that was special about her.

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